Thursday, November 12, 2015

What is Marriage?

Dear Me,
  • I trust you with everything. 
  • I've shared everything with you, with no judgement from your side.
  • I love how you're genuinely happy when I tell you my happy stories.
  • You always listen to my endless and irritating rants. And I mean listen, listen.
  • You always make me smile.
  • I know I'll never be bored with you.
  • No matter how much time we spend together, how much we talk, I'm always left wishing for more. 
  • But while I'm left wishing for more, I love that you understand when we need space.
  • I'm a better person because of you constantly pushing me and encouraging me to do things out of my comfort zone.

...and you want me to let all this go?


(Was that a bit creepy? Like a psychological thriller?)

I do all these things to myself and fail to understand why I need someone else in the equation to fulfill that. Why is marriage such a huge topic of discussion in our society, immediately after a job is found? Is there no room for the least for a few years? Are we not meant to make a life for ourselves and live it, before we add someone else to the equation? Why do have to always be dependent on someone for life to move on? Why can't we make our own actions, hardships and thoughts work for us?

As an almost 23 year old woman, I find the topic of marriage (or commitment in general) a very minuscule part of my life. There are way more important things on my mind - How can I spend more time with my family? Where will I be five years from now in my career path? How do I settle down in my new job? How to I adapt to the new environment I'm in? Who are my friends? Where do I visit next year? 

This isn't a feminist rant (I'm not a feminist) or a vent session from personal conversations at home. My parents kinda think the way I do. Yeah the topic comes up, but I think having had two daughters, they sort of understand where I'm coming from. They encourage me to be independent. Now don't think marriage is dependence. It's not. I can't speak for marriage right now, but I can't speak against it either.

The whole point of this long rant is - marriage should not be an ultimate goal in life. Marriage should not be a topic of discussion for any woman or man aged below 28 (unless they consent it, then yay, good for you). Marriage should not be looked down upon either. 

Marriage and commitment should not be feared, but should not be the center of attention either.

Please note that these are personal opinions. Please feel free to voice your own in a comment below or email me :)


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  2. I feel marriage is made a big deal in today's world but also I feel that people tend to avoid it till a later age and then when they do want to get married it's too late as they are set in their ways. Like there is an age to go to school, start work, etc, there is an age to get married too. Yes it shouldn't be the only focus but it should be part of the "plan" too. Else it will be too late! Of course it should be to the right person too and both should be ready for a life long commitment. Life doesn't change after marriage. You can still do all the things you have listed down. Life only changes once you have a child as there is a being that is completely dependent on you. I think of marriage as another friendship ... a friendship you commit to have for life! :)

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