Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Women should care

Rape cases, molestation and all these other cases regarding women are heard of in abundance these days. What's even more sad is that in today's world, people's way of thinking has not changed. For the society, it's always the man at fault. I am not saying that the woman is always at fault. No. But sometimes, it's better to analyse the situation and try to understand both points of views, rather than jumping to conclusions and immediately pointing fingers at the man.

(I will not quote any incidents here as it may create controversial thoughts. These are personal opinions.)

My mother has always taught me, "Whether the knife falls on the leaf or the leaf falls on the knife, it is always the leaf that will tear." The same way, whether the man abuses the woman or the woman abuses the man, it is the woman who will face the consequences.

One needs to understand the importance of the different standards of society today, especially in India. India is a huge country with a large population. This large population is sub-divided into different classes of society from the highest possible to the lowest possible. If you are a woman, sit and reflect upon this: If you wear the most inappropriate clothes and walk in front of an uneducated man or in an area that is not fully secure, with a few men who are drunk or tipsy, don't you think you will be attracting trouble? It's easy for you to immediately argue and protest with signs, "Don't tell us what to wear, tell them not to rape." Sure we could do that, but is it possible to say it to each and every man in India? To give you a better understanding, I will quote my mother's explanation.

Location: UB City, Bangalore
Photography By: Anupama Subramaniyam
"In a country like India, most of the people live together as a joint family. Therefore, it is rather difficult for the husband and wife to sleep together regularly. Especially in rural and smaller towns. Men need to satisfy themselves and do such stupid actions in order to just give themselves some satisfaction. And women dressing up the way they do in cities, and then walking around in areas where such attention isn't needed, just attracts the men even more."

Living in Bangalore, I can only give you examples from this city. If you had to wear a short skirt and a tube top and walk into UB City, I think you will be more than fine over there. The crowd is decent, the place is safe and the crowd is educated. If anything were to happen, there is security around to make sure things are settled down. If you had to wear the same clothes and walk a little down UB City into perhaps Majestic, where there is no security and the people are of lower standards, I am not saying that you will get harmed, but there are more possibilities of it happening.

Being a woman myself, I understand that we need to have the complete and total freedom to wear what we want and behave how we want to behave. But remember the leaf story; even if we don't do anything, we will get into trouble.

Friday, July 27, 2012

"Being Gay is unnatural"

The following post is not to offend or make fun of anyone. It is a personal opinion.

Recently, my friend from English Honors and I were having a discussion on whether being gay is an issue or not. For many people it is, for many people, it isn't. I know that many people from the previous generation find it hard to accept this sexual orientation. They call it "unnatural".

I agree that it is unnatural. God made man and woman to reproduce; and this involves sex. How is it possible if it is man and man or woman and woman? However, there is nothing wrong with being gay. Some may call it unnatural, but many things in this world are unnatural. Look at technology for instance, that is unnatural- it is man made. How are you able to accept that? If you can accept something that harms you, why are you reluctant in accepting something that is not harmful, and is mostly based on emotions?

Another thing that many people need to consider, especially if you claim that you're mature, is playing a rather immature prank on your friends, by updating their Facebook or bbm status to "I'm gay!" Not only is that inconsiderate, but it is offensive. Being gay isn't a funny thing. It is an accepted sexual orientation. It may be funny for you and your friends, but inconsiderate towards people who are actually gay as it is an indirect way of making fun of them.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, these are my opinions and thoughts after a discussion. It is not meant to offend anyone in anyway. My only plea is that one should consider what they say and do before playing a prank or calling someone unnatural. Our sexual orientation doesn't define our personality. Remember that. 

"Talk Dirty to me" "What?" "I said it's ten thirty!"

Living in today's world has it's own advantages. Everything is fast; internet, people, technology, work, transport, even food! Thanks to latest developments in technology, I can sit on the moon and still communicate with my parents. But if there's anything that I do not appreciate about today's world, it's language; and am not referring to slang. Slang is normal; in fact, I enjoy going through the Urban Dictionary. It makes life more fun. The language I am referring to is that hidden meaning behind the most basic and normal words one could use. Yes, I'm talking dirty.

I was talking to my friend from Zambia about how we "grind chutney" in India. Clearly he didn't take it in the food sense. He had a very confused expression on his face and asked me, "So you danced with chutney? Like dirty dancing?" What was I to answer? (Facepalm)

This other time, I was singing a song to myself in class, about a bird. It goes like this:

                          "Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree/ Merry, Merry King of
                           the bush is he/ Laugh Kookaburra! Laugh Kookaburra!/
                           Gay your life must be!"

No one thought I was gay, but it sure popped up a few questions. It's sad that our generation doesn't remember that "gay" at one point in time meant to be happy!

Moving from language, even sounds are misinterpreted. I cannot watch a game of tennis without feeling uncomfortable, after someone on Twitter posted: "If you can't watch porn, or feel guilty to do so, just switch to a channel where women play tennis and close your eyes." (Facepalm)

There are many instances where we go through this. I am sure you can think of a couple. It is nice to know that our generation is rather forward and willing to accept so many things that the previous generation would frown upon. But it is worthy to remember that these "dirty" jokes have their time and place. There is no problem is having your fun with your friends circle. But during a class presentation or group discussions? There's a limit. Also, offending people is one thing we should consider too. I found the tennis remark rather offensive and am sure those women playing tennis would too.

Play jokes, have fun, know your limits. Like Ross from Friends said, "You're laughing at someone and not with someone, and that's just mean!"