Dating and All That Jazz

Recently, I've been thinking. Dating is a concept that's very common these days. It's nice to be in a relationship with someone. Thing is, men think differently about it and women think differently about it.

When men date, they go with the flow, which is probably good at times. It's good to be relaxed in a relationship. Take things slow and the way they come. Women, on the other hand, always think about "where this is going". Are they going to get married? Are they going to break up? How many kids are they going to have?

I may be wrong. Like I've said earlier, I base most of my thoughts on stereotypes.

Having said all this, have you noticed how people merge to be one when they're dating? They start sounding more like each other - the way they talk, their opinions, those tiny annoying habits. It's creepy. Suddenly, you start seeing one body and two heads. Creepy.

Mind you, this is only when it comes to dating. When people are married, the body starts separating and they start getting more comfy with each other. Why? Because there is a legal contract binding them together. Muhahahaha!

Discover Yourself
Photography By Author

Anyway, point being, when you're dating someone, you tend to lose yourself. Your identity, your opinions, your way of thinking, etc. It starts becoming "we think", "we like", "we want to do"...let me know if I'm wrong.

Ergo, if you're a teenager, and you're reading this, please, don't date. The teenage phase of life is when you actually discover who you are. Give yourself those years to create an awesome identity for yourself. Don't let someone else create your identity. If, by any chance, that someone leaves, you will feel like half of your identity is suddenly gone, and you'll go through a fucked up phase of what you will call "depression" and your friends around you will call "attention seeking". It's neither. It's just restlessness.

If you are in a relationship, just be careful not to lose yourself. Don't always nod your head to what your partner wants you to do. If you don't like something, express it. After all, your partner needs to love you. Not an ideal you that you're making for him/her. Let people appreciate you for who you are. Don't create someone you don't know. It will bite you later on. 

IPL: Indian Premiere League

It's IPL season and we've some pretty good matches so far. But this post is related to the controversies of the IPL. Oh so many controversies. I don't need Hindi serials to make fun of anymore. I can just make my own Hindi serial by editing a few of the IPL clips.

Firstly, the IPL is a form of entertainment. I do not understand why a handful of people take it so seriously. If your team loses, it's fine! Learn to live with it. It's not the end of the world. And it certainly doesn't give you the permission to start booing them and lowering their self esteem. Winning and losing is part of any sport. If you do not understand that concept, I suggest you stop watching the IPL and pick a book about good sportsmanship.

Secondly, if a player performs well in one match and doesn't do so in his next match, I see a gazillion status updates, tweets and silly memes about how he should either quit or if he got out, the team has no hope of winning. WHY?! Like, why? He's not the only player on the team. There are other players who have equal potential to win the game. Secondly, if he didn't play well today, give him a break! Don't boo him. Remember, he played well once and won the game for your team.

Thirdly, its sad that as an Indian, you boo your own players. I personally do not like some Indian players. But I respect the fact that they play for India. Don't let some petty entertaining factor ruin the unity of our country. We have many more things already doing that for us. Let sports be at least.

Don't take things that are leisure so seriously. Instead, take serious issues of our country and be passionate about them. Don't leisurely overlook the various cases going on in India such as the rape cases. Apply your energy and passion in solving or speaking up about those issues rather than using it on a mere sport that just creates more problems.

Watch the matches. Enjoy them. Support your team. But remember, it's just a game. At the end of the day, we are one country. It's just a sport. You're just getting entertained. Relax. 

London

So I was in London a few days back. It's not like I've not been there before, but this was my first time exploring the city alone. The sole purpose of going was to apply for my Canadian Visa, which look about 2 hours only. Very efficient, I must say.

1 and a half days in London. Alone. Best experience ever. Recently, I knew I deserved a break. Lots going on with work and life in general. I really needed a break from Swansea. Don't get me wrong. Swansea is a lovely place. But once in a while, it's good to be alone in a crowd of people. Rewording that, it's good to be in a place like London.

London is a city worth exploring. I know many people who travel like to explore the unexplored. But I believe that exploring the explored can be equally exciting. Why? We are all different people. Seeing something from your perspective is seeing it differently. This is why opinions matter. If we all looked at something from the same perspective, life would be boring.

When I arrived in London Paddington, I just sat there for an hour, staring at people. I was in awe as to how many people there were! Furthermore, the cultural diversity of the city is amazing! From Africans to Indians to various Europeans! So many people from all over the world! I felt like I was at an International Conference of Trains or something. You don't hear only English being spoken. It's every language you can think of: Spanish, French, Hindi, Gujarati, Punjabi, German and so on.

After my hour of observation in Paddington, I headed out to Soho. Soho's night life? Happening. Such a live place. Loud. Plenty of people. Music booming from everywhere. People dressed up. Youngsters everywhere. Smoking. Drinking. Very live!

The next morning, I headed to the Canadian High Commission on Grosvenor Street. At 6am. Grosvenor Street is parallel to Oxford Street. So I had to pass by Oxford Street. Guess what? Busy even at 6am! People walking at a fast pace with coffee on one hand and a newspaper on the other. Most people rushing to work or rushing to catch the tube to work. It was amazing! I felt so safe in the presence of such a vivacious crowd!

After my work at the Canadian High Commission, I just walked around the city. I had a day pass.  I went to every place I could within the given radar. Started off with Oxford Street. That place is a beauty. Busy all day, people rushing about every minute. It's like the Time Square of London. Really. Oh and another thing. I had to hide my face and walk around. The shops around are so tempting. Student budget and what not. Just walk and wave. Walk and wave.

I then went to London Bridge. It was amazing! I stared at it for a few minutes. Busy traffic all over, cool breeze once in a while. It was a good feeling. I regretted not carrying my camera. But if I did, I probably would not have been allowed inside the Canadian High Commission. So meh.

I could only look around the place for a couple of hours. But those few hours were some moments of my life I would never forget. Sometimes, it's good to stick with the regular than trying to be unique. Don't always try something new. Try the old too. You might discover something new in the old!

The "Real You"

Just recently, I started writing in a journal again. It's a different feeling. I mean, when you write in your own personal journal, you don't care much about grammar, spellings, handwriting and all these norms. I am the "real me" in this journal, I guess.

Perhaps we are all our true selves only personally - if that makes any sense. I can't be the full "real me" in front of others. There are certain things I do when I am alone, like dance crazily. There will always be something, consciously or subconsciously or unconsciously that I will not reveal.

Having said that, is it ever possible to be the "real you"? Think about it; even when you are alone, there are certain things you don't do or won't do which you do when you are with other people. For example, I don't eat in a mannerly order when I'm alone. But in the presence of others, I eat properly with the knife and the fork and what not.

The "real you" is probably never revealed at any time. That's why we have time for introspection. Get to know yourself, but it may never possible to know yourself fully.

Oh well, on that note, here's a song from Disney (sad, I know, but it's late at night and I don't feel like searching for a song):

Demi Levato Feat Joe Jonas - This is Me (Camp Rock)

10 Advantages of Heartbreak

It may be a little stupid, silly, unrealistic perhaps. But it's something I've always wanted to write about. I mean, it's better to look at the positives right?

1. Eat Chocolates/Ice Cream without feeling guilty. You deserve it.
2. Your taste in music is likely to get good (or better than before).
3. You discover new things about yourself - introspection.
4. You realise who your true friends are - those who genuinely care and are there for you.
5. You'll probably become good at writing poetry...or quotes.
6. Distraction causes you to find new interests.
7. Distraction also causes you to finish all your pending work in time (sometimes even earlier) - efficiency.
8. You tend to appreciate nature (more than before anyway).
9. This is probably the only phase in life where "Chic Flicks" are appreciated and make sense (It's an advantage for them, if not you, at least).
10. You escaped being with someone who could be a jerk. (Even if you were in love with him/her, they broke your heart. Ergo, they suck).

I also read this somewhere: "If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So shut up!"
Funny, eh? Profoundness in play: If someone hurt you emotionally, it's not the end of the world. Or the end of your life. Move on. Life is a long journey involving beauty, nature, wonderful people and love; don't let petty things (or people) ruin it for you.

Selena Gomez and The Scene - Who Says

Care

All these days, I was under the impression that I was the person people came to, to tell me their problems, talk about random stuff, get close to, etc. I was overly flattered and proud that I wasn't close to anyone. I was content being alone and close to my sister.

Clearly I was wrong. I was completely wrong.

I get close to people. People don't get close to me. And this only hit me this morning. Don't ask how. Long story. But to cut it short, people that I get close to tend to leave my life in maximum two years. And once they leave, it's hard to maintain the same level of "closeness" via internet. It really is. Or some don't even leave physically. Some just get new friends. Or get into a relationship. Or something.

Point is, getting close to people is not just about sharing secrets, going out for movies, walks, the gym, eating together...nope. It's about care. And I care for these people. I love these people. They can be someone I spent an hour with or someone I've spent a life time with - it's not the time that counts, but the memories you've made with these people.

PS - I wrote this a month back. Was hesitant to post it then. Thought it was time.