Care

All these days, I was under the impression that I was the person people came to, to tell me their problems, talk about random stuff, get close to, etc. I was overly flattered and proud that I wasn't close to anyone. I was content being alone and close to my sister.

Clearly I was wrong. I was completely wrong.

I get close to people. People don't get close to me. And this only hit me this morning. Don't ask how. Long story. But to cut it short, people that I get close to tend to leave my life in maximum two years. And once they leave, it's hard to maintain the same level of "closeness" via internet. It really is. Or some don't even leave physically. Some just get new friends. Or get into a relationship. Or something.

Point is, getting close to people is not just about sharing secrets, going out for movies, walks, the gym, eating together...nope. It's about care. And I care for these people. I love these people. They can be someone I spent an hour with or someone I've spent a life time with - it's not the time that counts, but the memories you've made with these people.

PS - I wrote this a month back. Was hesitant to post it then. Thought it was time.

Life

We all love our parents don't we? And of course, our parents loved their parents didn't they? Then I have one question; why were old age homes invented?

Sure everything revolves around money today. That's a fact. Fact fact fact. Am sure Mr Gradgrind from Charles Dickens' 'Hard Times' would be so proud of me for saying this. No emotions involved...just a mechanical life: Go to work, make money, come home, eat, shit, sleep, wake up the next day and do it all over again.

Has it never occurred to the kids who dump their parents in old age homes that their parents could have dumped them in an orphanage as well? Or left them on the streets? But they didn't! They took care of you; when you lied, they scolded you; when you were down, they encouraged you; when you hurt yourself, they took care of you. How do you have the heart to dump someone who gave birth to you? Who brought you into this world? Who made you who you are today?

Life is too short to live mechanically. It's the small things in life we need to appreciate. It's the people in our lives who make a difference. I learned recently:

"One day, you need to have someone with
whom you can look back at these memories..."
Photograph by: Tanushree Dwivedi

It took time, but I learnt to live.

However be the days, I have learnt to live,

Now I have known this, what's happiness and what's sorrow;

Both are weathers of two moments;

Neither they wait nor stay.

Life gets made of two colours, 

Now angry, now placated.

This, this is here...

- Der lagi lekin maine ab hai jeena seekh liya, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.

Learn to live, yes. Seize the moment, yes. Make memories, yes. But never do these things alone. One day, you need to have someone with whom you can look back at these memories. Family, friends, strangers, lovers...everyone means something at some point in your life. 

CEP '13: 2 Epic Years

And I’ve moved out of Bangalore; Out of India. I’ve waited 2 years for this moment and it’s finally happened. Only difference is when I first moved to India, I was eagerly waiting for the 2 years to come to an end. At that time, I never realised that I can make the best of friends in 2 years. When the end finally approached, I dreaded saying good bye to people who made my stay in Bangalore totally worth it.

I am not the type of person who is good with testimonials and emotional jazz (that’s Seni, got me started on using your typical phrases ‘and all that jazz’ or ‘aney’). But this post is dedicated to each and every individual who made Bangalore and Christ University worth it and excuse me for saying this (and am sure you’ll all agree), bearable. 

I cannot ramble on and on about each individual from CEP ’13 but the class on a whole is freaking awesome! Sure we had our own groups within the class, but the fact that I got to interact with most of you individually, even if it was for 2 or 3 minutes, makes me consider myself to be lucky. 

I remember the first day of college, I met Abhineeta. When I first met her, I didn’t realise she’s weird. Until one day, when she, Arundhati and I had a discussion about lesbian vibes. Yes. Like I said. Weird. But don’t we all have some element of “weirdness” in us?

I also remember the first few weeks of college I used to sit right at the front. No I am not a nerd. It was just convenient for me to get out of class quickly and not get caught in the large student population of our block. Anyway, I used to sit next to the brothers (Bipin, Sebadas, Shijo and Pradeep) and I remember telling them that I was born in Kerala and don’t know any Malayalam; and they promised they would teach me. So sweet. :’)

As the weeks progressed, so did my seating arrangement. I moved further and further away from the front of the classroom and soon I was one of the back benchers. This is where I met Alice, Rachika, Vishrutha, Kathleen, Prena and Debbie. Oh fun days! We hardly used to pay attention and usually used to secretly take pictures. Or sleep. And if we had a test, copy from each other. And the amount of time we spent on our phones, am surprised we never got caught. :P

I remember a few other people who used to sit at the back; Sumit, Abhishek, Sidharth, Hemali, Aastha and a few others. We never spoke much but had a few moments here and there thanks to Vishrutha. :P

I always broke our class into 3 rows and I had names for some groups. There was Garima, Revathi, Shiny, Adarsh and all you other guys who used to sit to my left somewhere near the front. You guys always used to say hi to me, which I thought was very sweet of you all. Then there were the people in front of me; Shruthi, Aditi, Kamna, Ananya AG, Kumaran, Kartika and a few visitors who were asked to come in front for making noise or whatever else :P We usually had discussions about class; exams, timetables and what not. But I’ve also had my Japanese classes with Aditi, the funny Hindi moments with Kamna and Ananya, and endless discussions about the end of the world (or a new beginning) with Kartika. :P Good times.

Then to my right I had the more active part of the class; always asking questions or always making noise :D :P Joseph, you are awesome. *poke* I shall never forget your oh so funny texts during our one act play; and how excited you were when you had 1000 tweets! :P Rhea, I will take you to prom and we shall go for soup after that :D Mehek, Happy Birthday on every Thursday! You are an amazingly funny and weird person. Additional English was fun. :P Salome, Your random dancing sessions were amusing to watch. I shall miss them. I shall especially miss your Johnny Bravo dance (that was it right? :P)   

Ashwin, you will be blessed with a future filled with dark chocolate every day :P Our rare but serious yet fun talks will always be remembered. Samiksha, I still don’t like you for going off BBM. I am glad we kinda sorta started talking :P We’ve never hung out (except laser tag but that was the most random yet epic group :P) but our exam panics and random advice sessions have made me find a good friend in you.  Manognya, You are crazy and shall always be :P But you are also adorable and one of the most amazing dancers I have ever known!  Abhishek, I know we never hung out but laser tag (again) was fun! And I still remember you used to advise me about my future plans and the whole moving to UK. Just the fact that you told me your point of view meant a lot, so thank you for that. Ashutosh, Talking about movies, series, music and anything entertainment based, it was the best with you! And of course, my collection of snaps of you sleeping in class :P Sonia, You and I have a lot in common...you know the whole thinking of something then suddenly going blank and all that :P And I'll miss our RR Nagar travel times :P Shriya, thank you so much for the chocolate on my birthday. It was really sweet of you. We never talked that much but you were always so nice to me. Rahul, You are uniquely annoying…but nice :P Internship days will be remembered; from your healthy talks to cracking my cell phone password (respect). You are a nice fellow. :P Kishore, keep clicking! Your photography is amazing!! :D

Vidya, Gautham, Soumya, Maitri, Sanya, Vaishali, Sana, Bhavya, Swetha, Prerna, Naaila, Anuj, Pooja, Manasi, Jose, Manisha, Suhas,  and Poorna; Although we may have never talked as often, or hung out often, you guys added on to the awesome CEP experience. And I sincerely thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. <3

Bettina, I remember you came late. And I also remember thinking that you were a nerd considering you asked me for notes and things on the first day you arrived :P But then we got to talking and am glad we became really good friends. The amounts of memories we have are not enough to jot down this post. The CCD dates almost every day, your random KFC cravings, the sleepovers, the exam panic…the list could go on. All I can say is I am glad I found a friend in you, a good one at that :P <3

When it came to organisation, one name popped in mind, Senashia. Oh where do I start? How I envied that black organiser of yours. You had little notes that said “Study” and that made me laugh :P We clicked easily thanks to the non-Indian background, both geographically and educationally :P You taught me the art of being organised and the art of time management and the art of using big words…uh I mean the “skill of expending gigantic verses”  :P You’ve been a good Sri Lankan friend throughout these 2 years and I cherish all the moments we’ve had together from the random gossip sessions to the ride on the metro to window shopping to talking about ambiguity (Yes Bettina, I had to say it :P)

Vikash, I don’t know how it happened but we became amazingly close friends. You were always there for me (literally thanks to BBM :P) so thank you for that! I will never forget your random singing moments. :P I will cherish our virtual dates :P And I will never forget our long advice sessions and career talks. You will reach great heights. Remember that <3

Aswathy, Sneha, Sandhya, Sharvaani, Ananya M, Jonny and Akhil, I don’t know if you guys ever realised it, but you guys were there for me when I needed it most; and I mean this literally. It was my birthday and for the first time ever in my life, I was alone on my birthday. You guys were the sweetest ever to have organised the movie and the surprise birthday donuts :P It was one of the best birthday experiences ever and I shall never forget it! <3  

Achu, Sneha, Sandy, Shar, Betty, Seni and Ananya, you guys have always been there for me and that means a lot. We’ve had our mixture of memories from all the eat outs to Sky Bar to sleepovers to the most ridiculous photo sessions and gossip sessions :P I love you all so much! <3

If I have left out anyone, it was not intentional.  We had a huge class :P Which is why it should be understandable for the department as to why we are so noisy :P Seriously, you guys have been an amazing group of people. I am glad the past 2 years of my life’s journey have been with such ridiculously awesome people! I will always remember each and every one of you, whether we talked or not. A big hug to each and every one of you and every one of you and lots of love!! You guys rock! \m/ :D

Special Mention:

Pavani, I know we just got close. And you are not in CEP :P But you have been an inspiration. You may not know or may have not realised it, but you have advised me when I needed it and taught me how to smile about everything and accept life the way it comes. Big hug to you! <3

I am sorry if I mispelled anyone's name(s). 

A Special Bond

You know that feeling...when you hear a song and you immediately relate it to one of your many life experiences? When you watch a movie and constantly keep repeating the dialogues with a friend? When you watch a television show/sitcom and act out the dialogues with someone you're close to?


My sister and I have watched the famous television sitcom, Friends, a gazillion times that we can repeat a whole season of dialogues given the chance! We've watched so many movies so many times that we end up acting out the next scene before it even plays! We've listened to a billion songs that we drive our neighbors away when we unleash the star singers in us! *ahem*

It's those crazy moments that make memories even more priceless. I wouldn't trade those crazy memories for anything in the world! I'll end this post my saying, "Maushi Maushi...I loves you the very muches! I dedicates this the posts to yous my sisters!" 


Am sure you get it Sistaaa!

© Anupama Subramaniyam