Simply Love

Loving someone and being in love are two entirely different things. And when the two clash, it's a myriad of emotions. One wants to you do the right thing while the other is blind. Conflicted emotions are the worst. Why can't love be simple?

Or maybe it is. And if it's not, it's probably not meant to be. But they say all relationships go through hardships. So is that not love? Do you work towards love? Is love even the ultimate thing? I'm not a romantic. The idea nauseates me. But I believe in simple love - family, friendships, high school crushes...but most importantly, loving yourself. Because if you love yourself, you'll see your flaws and if not accept them, try to help yourself change them for the better.

I guess love has different forms. It's really how you and your experiences that allow you to define and perceive it in your own unique way.

And before I get a million questions as to why I posted this, here's the inspiration:

rmdrk - Instagram

Love should not be taken lightly

Do you know what it's like to love someone unconditionally? To listen to and remember every little detail of their numerous stories...dated back to even a year ago. To go through their mood swings with them - their highs, mehs and lows. To create an abundance of memories - pranks, arguments, parties, silence, hugs, tickles, distance...

Distance, misunderstandings, miscommunication, being taken for granted, separate lives - circumstances that end a love like that. Overwhelming. I'll never put myself through that again....invest myself in someone so much.

The fear of losing someone you love is something we all go through. But that's love. It never leaves you. It always surrounds you. You rarely see it. You choose not to see it. You're taken for granted and it is gut wrenching. But who have you been taking for granted? .

10 things 'Finding Fanny' taught me.

[SPOILERS]...sort of...

I went for Finding Fanny a few days back. I also went for the English version...for reasons that only few people know. I understand it better than Hindi. The movie on a whole was enjoyable. We rarely get Hindi movies that portray dark humour. This was a good watch especially for those who appreciate brilliant acting.

Here's a list of things that the movie taught me:

1. When proposing to your love, please do it in person. Not via a letter. Unless you're delivering.
2. Love can be right under your nose and you wouldn't know.
3. Move on. If you can't let go, how will you see what's right under your nose?
4. When you fire a gun, make sure no one is dead. Unless it was intentional :/
5. Artists are full of emotions...but sometimes they can be heartless too.
6. When you get the chance to tell someone you love them, tell them. Regret can be with you lifelong.
7. Bollywood movies can be nice even without music numbers.
8. Helping those you don't want to help can lead to you discovering something wonderful.
9. Be responsible for your own pets.
10. When you want to cry, cry without caring.

Catch the trailer of the movie! :)

Loving and Falling in Love

Obviously there is a distinct difference between the two. I can love anyone or anything. Like I love coffee. But falling in love is more emotional, meaningful and sometimes unrequited. But that's not the point. The point is, I have fallen in love twice. And both, sadly, with fictional characters.

Bet you see where the post is going. It's not about the downside of love. Or the love in my life. I have sufficient love in my life. My family loves me and I love them back. That's all that matters. Friends do love...but only if you're really really really really close.

Moving on. The two characters I've been "in love" with are Dean from Supernatural and Stiles from Teen Wolf. Now before you judge a show by it's name, give it a watch. I seriously think the writers of Teen Wolf should have named their show something else...like Wolf Bane (as suggested by Tanushree). That way, their show would have no comparison to the sad series of Twilight. Seriously, the two are not even remotely related!

Getting back to the point, I am obviously, not in love with these two characters. If similar people existed in my life, I probably would fall in love with them. That's the thing with love...it's all very subjective. We sometimes have that feeling, when your friend tells you about someone they like and you're all "Him? Seriously? What do you see in him?" If we all saw the same in everyone, we'd end up loving the same people...and we don't want that, do we?

So, don't ever judge your friends for who they like. Let people make their life happen the way they want it. Do not interfere. Love is subjective...accept it that way.

And on that note, here is a video made by my friend, Bettina, on the love of my life, Stiles! Enjoy:

boredsleepycranky - [M.E.R.C.Y]. Stiles Stilinski

Moments

Effed up moments

That moment...

when your crush walks by and all you can do is stare like a creepy owl. o.O

when you want to hug someone and instead they choose to shake hands. >_<

when you open a bag of chips but they decide to volcano erupt on you. -_-

Awesome moments!

That moment...

when you and your friend have telepathic conversations in front of an idiot. ^_^

when you think it's Tuesday, but it's actually Friday! B-)

when there's chocolate ice cream in your freezer. <3

Moments to move on...

That moment...

when you realise your soul mate is in New York (he loves penguins).

when you tell a guy he is perfect for you and he replies saying, "oh...okay..." 

when you eat tonnes of junk food and think it's okay but subconsciously you know it's not.

Moments to cherish

That moment...

when your mom Whatsapp texts you to pass time. :-)

when your sister gets hungry because you're Skype cooking lunch. :D

when your dad scolds you, you retaliate maturely and he says you've good English. xD

Of Love and Other Things Part II

Click here to read Part I.

So I'm in my final year of University...I'm less than a month away from the much hyped "21st Birthday"...and I'm still the same old crazy, food loving, pathetically in love, slightly delirious and weird girl.

So...have I learned what love is? Meh. Not really. I've had eye candy moments here and there...sometimes some profound feelings for some guy here and there. I'm like a remote control...just changing channels here and there! Muhahaha.

No serious talk though, love isn't something that can be defined noh? Going through a weird phase in life right now, I cannot be more sure about this. One cannot define love. There are just instances and moments that do so.

Recently, I came across a blog, that made me, for the first time, appreciate technology. They do make relationships work. I mean sure, their in-your-face sweet concept of maintaining a blog as a couple made me feel a little "icky" (Friends reference!) inside...but only because they have what we're all looking for...or at least something similar.

So here's the story...boy and girl meet, start dating, still dating...long distance! How do they get through long distance? Maintain a blog about it, together! Get them "awwws" rolling outta your tongue people!! Click here to read their blog.

Happy reading! :)

The Complicated Guy/Gal

You know there's that one friend we all have, who is a douche? The one who's always mean. And picking on you. And calling you names. And irritating you. And taking the joy out of everything? Buzz kill.

But...

That one person is there for you. When you need it. They listen to your over dramatic but minuscule problems...they advice you, then make fun of you. They irritate you...then say sorry.

It's like, I like you. But I'll be mean to you. But I want you to like me too. Coz this is who I am. Bitch.

It's probably the best friendship you have. Believe me. Nothing is stronger than accepting a person for who they are...rather than expecting them to change. Or making them change. Would you change yourself, just to make someone else happy?

It's probably the core of all relationships. Accept, Trust and be Honest. Everything else will make sense then.

(I'm sure if my bunch of douchy friends read this, they'll criticise it...but I love 'em anyway!)

To Friendship! 

What is Love?

I'd like to tell you a story. A story of a young woman who fell in love.
She fell in love, like any other adolescent...pictured it all with him; and beyond.
The love was reciprocated. With half mind and half soul.
"But who cares?" She thought.
I'm the other half...mind and soul.

After all, love is a two way street. It's not that complicated.
Why do people ponder, cry and die, over a feeling so elated?
It's filled with moments, joy and kindness.
Some ups and downs too, but it's not always a mess.
People and their nonsensical thoughts!

A few months down the lane. So empty. So cold.
He broke her heart. Went off with another.
One that reciprocated with full mind and full soul.
Is this love? Is this how it feels?
Dead, cold and full of cries and appeals?

It's not nonsensical.
It's not a two way street. It never was.
It's always a one way street.
Whether reciprocated or not.

"The One"

There are many Movies, Series, Books and what not about "The One". It's nice, romantic, sweet, yada yada. But it's also a sort of myth.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you've found "the one" then good for you. But for people like me, who are still in search of "the one", I've some reality checks for you...uh...us?

Looking for "The One"
Photograph By: Tanushree Dwivedi

Constantly looking for "the one" creates a sort of ideal. It's like falling in love with the concept of love. Furthermore, if you do meet someone, you start off well, of course. But as time goes on, you may try to change the person to match the "ideal" you had in mind.

Which brings me to my second point: why are we on this search for "the one"? Why can't we date like normal people? Like Monica, Rachel and Joey from Friends? Why should we be like Ted from How I Met Your Mother? (Although he's had his moments too) Just let life flow.

I'm probably not the one to preach as half my posts are about love and what not. But making our life revolve around finding "the one" is kinda a waste. I blame movies and series for making this the main quest of life. It's silly.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've to go and get my binoculars. My potential "the one" is standing outside. 

10 Advantages of Heartbreak

It may be a little stupid, silly, unrealistic perhaps. But it's something I've always wanted to write about. I mean, it's better to look at the positives right?

1. Eat Chocolates/Ice Cream without feeling guilty. You deserve it.
2. Your taste in music is likely to get good (or better than before).
3. You discover new things about yourself - introspection.
4. You realise who your true friends are - those who genuinely care and are there for you.
5. You'll probably become good at writing poetry...or quotes.
6. Distraction causes you to find new interests.
7. Distraction also causes you to finish all your pending work in time (sometimes even earlier) - efficiency.
8. You tend to appreciate nature (more than before anyway).
9. This is probably the only phase in life where "Chic Flicks" are appreciated and make sense (It's an advantage for them, if not you, at least).
10. You escaped being with someone who could be a jerk. (Even if you were in love with him/her, they broke your heart. Ergo, they suck).

I also read this somewhere: "If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So shut up!"
Funny, eh? Profoundness in play: If someone hurt you emotionally, it's not the end of the world. Or the end of your life. Move on. Life is a long journey involving beauty, nature, wonderful people and love; don't let petty things (or people) ruin it for you.

Selena Gomez and The Scene - Who Says

Care

All these days, I was under the impression that I was the person people came to, to tell me their problems, talk about random stuff, get close to, etc. I was overly flattered and proud that I wasn't close to anyone. I was content being alone and close to my sister.

Clearly I was wrong. I was completely wrong.

I get close to people. People don't get close to me. And this only hit me this morning. Don't ask how. Long story. But to cut it short, people that I get close to tend to leave my life in maximum two years. And once they leave, it's hard to maintain the same level of "closeness" via internet. It really is. Or some don't even leave physically. Some just get new friends. Or get into a relationship. Or something.

Point is, getting close to people is not just about sharing secrets, going out for movies, walks, the gym, eating together...nope. It's about care. And I care for these people. I love these people. They can be someone I spent an hour with or someone I've spent a life time with - it's not the time that counts, but the memories you've made with these people.

PS - I wrote this a month back. Was hesitant to post it then. Thought it was time.

Love

It has no definite definition;
It's of many genres - mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, relatives, friends, relationships;
It's complicated;
It's simple;
It's tough;
It's easy;
It's based more on action - care, a hug, a kiss, a smile, a message, a gesture;
It goes through many tests - tears, smiles, pranks, dates;
It's intensity is immeasurable;
It's crazy;
It's pure;
It's painful;
It's relaxing;
It's overrated;
It's true if you grow old together;
It's not about compromise - or completion;
It's about complementing each other;
It's never planned;
It just happens...

Dil Chata Hai - Jaane Kyon

"The Heart Wants - Wonder Why"

(This video has the option for subtitles)

Distance

With family, it could be the worst.
With friends, it could be bad.
With lovers, it could be heartbreaking.
With acquaintances, it could be a new beginning.

With family, it's a bonding factor.
With friends, it's a travel opportunity.
With lovers, it's a test.
With acquaintances, it's a new friendship.

In the past, there were letters.
In the present, there's Skype.
In the future, who knows?

One thing is for sure,
Distance formulates value.
Formulates strength.
Formulates responsibility.

It strengthens emotions.
Intensifies feelings.
Creates realizations.
Builds up personality.

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

Of Love and Other Things

I'm only 20. I don't know what love is. Or maybe I do. But it's a very...um...subjective thing I guess. I mean I have crushes and what not. That's normal. But love is very deep and meaningful, no? It's something that is inexplicable.

I did have this notion that you can fall in love only once thanks to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. But recently, I've been watching this vlogger called iiSuperwomanii. She brought in a whole new perspective: The intensity of your feelings may change according to your maturity. I mean, I could be 16 but love at that age was probably just infatuation.

At my age, I could probably understand what love is. But even if I do, there's no one for me to share that experience with because I am single. But then again, there's something called "unrequited love" (Thanks Shakespeare). Soooo, point being? Nothing really. There's no point. Maybe that's the point of love. There's no point. It's spontaneous, cryptic, mysterious, confusing...everything you can possibly think about. So if you're in love, please feel free to let me know what it's like.

Having said all this, I really do not know why I am writing this post. I'm not in love. I don't think I've ever experienced that kind of love before. I guess it's just because I'm listening to these cheesy romantic songs that make most girls melt. That happy yet empty place. And I'll end with a song that's been playing all morning. Enjoy!

Andrew Allen - Loving You Tonight

Act!

What do I do instead of writing my essay? I blog. It’s a good stress buster. As is Twitter. Just saying.

Anyway. This blog is going to be a rather serious one. Only because it got me thinking. Now, before you get all critical, offensive and defensive, this blog is not targeted at anyone. It’s just my general thought. I may be wrong for all I know as I do not know what’s going on in your minds.

So going abroad and studying? Best experience ever. But, where are my qualifications going to play their part? My home. I have two homes so I’ll probably try and incorporate both. But no matter how much I say I am Zambian at heart, I am also partly Indian. And I love India. The culture, food, people, ambiance  traffic, dust, shopping…what’s not to love?

Point being, I am studying abroad. But I want to use this education to help make my country better. Why should I stay here and make a good place even better when I need to improve my country? I am not saying my country is bad. It’s not. In fact, it’s far from bad. Sure we have certain happenings that are not acceptable in society. It’s not like all the other countries in the world have no crime, rape, murders, etc. They do. We’re just not aware of it.

Use opportunities wisely. Don’t improve the good. Improve what needs improvising. Don't complain. Act. Give back to your country for a better future. 

14th February

SINGLE'S PERSPECTIVE

Only because I am single, I shall crib about Valentine’s Day. It sucks. All those couples around doing their things; buying each other gifts, going out on a romantic date, being there for each other. GAH. Nauseating. Being single on Valentine’s Day sucks. It’s like not being drunk on St Patrick’s Day! Or not having cake on your birthday. You feel so incomplete. There’s a hole in your heart. I think I shall go and eat my chocolate ice cream, watch some pathetic romantic movie and cry now.

COUPLE'S PERSPECTIVE

Aww honey. I love you but today I shall show you that I love you. Here, have this gift basket. And chocolate. And I’ll take you out for dinner. And here’s a Mercedes. Also, we have to show PDA because you know…you just have to. Really. Today is the day that I will love you so much. I do love you but today I just have to express it because on other days I don’t. Or I do and the world doesn’t know about it.

MY PERSPECTIVE

Hello there. So. Valentine’s day. Hmm. What’s the big deal? There’s always a big deal. But before we go there, what is Valentine’s Day? According to Google, and the online dictionary, it’s a day for the exchange of tokens of affection. So where the hell does the whole “I’m single” or “I’m in a relationship” or “I don’t have a date on this day” play its part?!

Okay fine, I understand people go a little overboard with the gifts and affection. So you do it too!! Who says the “token of affection” has to be for your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner? You can get something for your sister, brother, mother, father, etc. I know Fathers and Mothers have their own days…but do siblings?

Which brings me to my next point. WHY IS THERE A FREAKING DAY FOR EVERYTHING?! If I love someone, I would tell them! (Maybe not immediately, but I would someday.) But that day does NOT have to be Valentine’s Day.

Same way, I will buy my parents stuff when I feel like. I will tell them I love them and hug them and what not whenever I feel like. I do not need Mother’s Day or Father’s Day to express my love for them.

So all you single people sitting there, feeling sorry for yourselves, GO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SALES ON CHOCOLATE! Okay seriously, pull yourself together. You are an amazing person. You know it. Just go out on Valentine’s Day with a few people. Go party. Go have dinner. Have a movie night. Anything. Express your love for the people that really matter. Don’t hook yourself up with someone just because you have to.

If you’re in unrequited love (my area of expertise), either pluck the courage up to go and tell that person that you’re in love with them or don’t. Really up to you. Happiness is a key element in love. If they're happy, you should be happy.

Having said all that, I am an overly romantic girl. I am expecting a lot from this day. Probably from someone who doesn’t even care. I know having expectations is probably the worst thing anyone can…have? Oh well. It’s like any other day otherwise.

I love you all. Peace. 

Past and Present

The Past

1. Walking
2. Writing
3. Letters
4. Outdoor games
5. Long Distance Relationships
6. No "doing stuff" before marriage
7. In love only once
8. Eating a meal out once in a while
9. The thrill of going for a movie
10. Face to face conversations


The Present

1. Cars, Trains, Gyms, etc.
2. Typing
3. E-mails, chat, etc.
4. Video games
5. Break up
6. What's marriage?
7. In love a gazillion times
8. Eating a home cooked meal once in a while
9. Everything is available online these days
10. Facebook, Skype, etc.

Who said technology is better? Who said being practical is facing reality? The thrill of life was lived in the past. Today we're all just machines, abiding by society's rules. We are not who we are. We are what others want us to be. We have no identity because we are all one. You may think you are unique, but so is everyone else.

Technology may be efficient, but it has sucked out the human from us. It's sad I even have to blog about it, rather than talk about it with someone. 

The Stages of Life

The reality of life hurts,

      1.       As a child, you will fall down and hurt yourself

      2.       As a school kid, you will have no best friend

      3.       As a teenager, you will have some fucked up hormonal and emotional swings

      4.       As a late teenager, you will be used and dumped

      5.       As a mature adult, you will work your ass off day and night

      6.       As a mother, you will give up so many things just to stay home and make it a home

      7.       As a father, you will work so hard to provide for your family

      8.       As a sister, you will have endless arguments about silly things with your siblings

      9.       As a wife/husband, you will have to make many sacrifices

      10.   As an old person, you will be bored of life

 But there’s always a “but”

      1.       But later on, you will show off your scar and remember how you stayed strong through it all.

      2.       But, you will have a group of friends with whom you play “mud”.

      3.       But, you will always remember your first crush.

      4.       But, you will never realise how you’ve probably done the same to someone else.

      5.       But, the money is so totally worth it.

      6.       But, it is worth it when your husband and kids say, “Oh what lovely sambar mom!”

      7.       But, it is worth it when your kids grow up and are a success thanks to your education.

      8.       But, it’s the advice sessions that really count!

      9.       But, these sacrifices are what make it work.

      10.   But, you’ll learn to reflect upon the last 9 points of your life and accept that fact that “Life is good. I have lived my life.”

Express Yourself

So I haven’t blogged in a while. I was on holiday. And then exams came in the way (they still are in the way but it’s a good stress buster to blog. There are other ways too but for that you can refer to my other blogpost, 10 Things I did Last Night Instead of Studying).

First of all, Happy New Year! It’s 2013 and we can finally get over the whole “The world is ending” crap. The world will never end. Period.

So this post is an inspiration from the recent trip to Zambia. It was a rather short one but it was eventful. Lots of ups and downs, realisations, responsibilities, advice sprees, catching up with old friends, realising who your friends really are, hanging out with kids and realising they’re not kids anymore and so on.

But the most important lesson I learned when I was there is that priorities change. Yes. They do. As you mature, so do your priorities. 4 years back, my priority was to make the guy that I am in love with realise that I am in love with him. And for some reason, I wanted him to love me back. Today, I look back at that 16 year old and laugh. What kind of shitty priority is that for a 16 year old girl? I didn’t even understand what love was at that age.

Today, my priority is to do well in my exams. I have to do well. Why? Because I finally realise the amount of efforts my parents are putting in to educate me. I mean, some people out there do not even have the opportunity to be educated. Why should I throw my opportunity down the drain? Plus, my second (and main) reason is that I LOVE MY COURSE. I know what I want to do when I am done. Which is why I cannot wait till I am done!

But who knows, tomorrow my priority could change. I may be married and my priority would be to make breakfast for my husband. Gosh. To even think of that is not a good feeling. No. My husband shall make his own breakfast.

Anyway, point being, even though your priorities do change, just remember that you shouldn’t change. If you want to do well in your exams, do well – study hard, work hard but keep time for some relaxation too. Let the information sink in. Remember, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” On the same lines, if you get married or get a girlfriend/boyfriend, spend time with them – make them feel special, treat them like they deserve to be treated; but keep time for your family and friends too…your parents, siblings, good friends, etc.

Life is too short to sit and prioritise all the time. Don’t let maturity or age affect your priorities. Sometimes, let go, live life and be spontaneous. Friends come and go, girlfriends come and go, boyfriends come and go, exams come and go, jobs come and go but relationships? Family? Good friends? They’re here to stay forever. If you’re reading this, take out our phone or open Facebook. Message your mom or dad or best friend and just tell them that you love them. Life is too short to wait. Express yourself. 

Attention or Care?

The problem with today’s world is that we all seek attention. Yes. We all do. Even if we pretend we don’t, we do. It may be that annoying attention from Facebook friends or attention from that one guy you like or attention from a bunch of people for no reason. But we all seek attention. Why?

Seeking attention is not a bad thing. It’s nice to know that someone cares. There are those moments in life when you are tired of the one caring for people and for once would like it if someone cared for you. It’s normal.

What’s not normal is wearing inappropriate clothes, prancing around like the Queen of Wonderland and screaming like there’s no tomorrow. That’s not need for attention. That’s need for help; a psychiatrist perhaps?

Coming back to the point, to care for someone and that someone not caring back is the world’s most heart piercing feeling ever. I know many people would say “To love someone and not have them love you back hurts the most.” I disagree. If you love someone, regardless of whether or not they love you back, all that matters is their happiness. Their happiness lies in yours. But care? Care is a mutual thing. It’s nice to know that someone cares.

Care, Love, Happiness, Sadness, Attention, Trust, Mistrust, Lies, Truth…it’s all part of life. To have someone care about all these things in you is Luck. And if you’re reading this post, thank you for caring enough to visit my blog! :)