Embrace your flaws

This post may sound super profound, but it really isn't. It's just me venting.

So I recently had a friend of mine come up to me (randomly) and say, "I've been reflecting...the person I am, is not who I am supposed to be. I mean, I say these things and do these things without thinking...and maybe it's time I started thinking. Be more considerate. I mean, otherwise I could just get into a lot of trouble."

Which got me thinking...why does she want to change? What made her think this way? Did someone tell her something? I didn't ask her, because sometimes people just want you to listen, and not react.

I understand that we tend to find "flaws" with ourselves and want to change them for the better. But sometimes I think that these flaws are what make us who we are. Without these flaws, we'd be someone else. Conversely, what you may see as a flaw in yourself could be seen as a great positive through someone else's eyes.

I guess, at the end of the day, we're all on the same quest in the journey of life...looking for someone who'll accept us for who we are. I don't believe in changing your personality traits for someone. Changing habits, yeah that's possible, if it's for the better. But your personality...no. If someone is telling you to be less talkative, be more social, avoiding conversations around your topics of interest, asking you to do things that they like but never doing things you like...that's not a healthy relationship. And that's not compromise either.

So to my friend, you know who you are, if you're reading this, don't change one bit. Your blatant and brutal to-the-face honesty is something I appreciate, and what the world needs more of.

And to my small group of readers, think of someone who has a unique personality trait, or just a usual one..maybe they've felt insecure about it or avoided talking about it due to afraid of being judged...text/call them and compliment them, genuinely.

...and next time a person wants to talk about their interest, and they utter the words "I'm sorry, am I boring you?"...remember, they're only asking that because they've been told that this particular interest of theirs is boring. So just listen. We live in a narcissistic world where everything is about "me me me". It's time we used our social platforms to create a world of equality, consideration and empathy.

...which is what I'm trying to do with this post.  

Moving On...

I think the main reason we don't like moving on is because it's a cause for change. And as humans, we don't like change. Which is weird considering we don't like eating the same thing everyday...

But sometimes you don't know it, and life gives you the most inevitable change possible...and in that moment, you hate life. You don't want it to change. You want things to be the way they are. But why are we so resistant to change? I mean, not all change is bad. In fact, most of the changes are good. We don't know it because we're programmed to think they're bad.

When I left Zambia for India, I didn't know what to expect. I was very much against the idea of moving to India. I didn't want to be around people I don't know and most certainly did not want a change in cultural and social norms. But when I got there, I understood how I was completely wrong about India. I grew to love the place, and not just because the food was nice but because I made some amazing friends!

After establishing a fantastic social circle in India, I didn't want to leave that and move to Swansea. Don't get me wrong, I was excited to move, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if people abroad would be as chilled and fun as the friends I made in Bangalore.

Yet again, my expectations proved me wrong. I met, once more, an amazing group of friends in Swansea and they made the experience all the more culturally fulfilling and equally fun! And having never lived by the sea, Swansea certainly made me a beach lover.

Now that this journey has come to an end, I'm moving back to India. And because my previous experience with India was amazing, I'm not scared of this change. It's giving me an opportunity to move on. I've made some sensible decisions in Swansea, but also some rather stupid ones. And I have a chance to move on. I am definitely scared to move on from student life to work life. But that's change innit? Inexorable. Inevitable. Surprising. And a mix of good and bad. If you want to move on, you gotta let go of the past, let go of expectations and most importantly, let go of yourself. And if you understood that, you, my friend, are ready for a change :)