Embrace your flaws

This post may sound super profound, but it really isn't. It's just me venting.

So I recently had a friend of mine come up to me (randomly) and say, "I've been reflecting...the person I am, is not who I am supposed to be. I mean, I say these things and do these things without thinking...and maybe it's time I started thinking. Be more considerate. I mean, otherwise I could just get into a lot of trouble."

Which got me thinking...why does she want to change? What made her think this way? Did someone tell her something? I didn't ask her, because sometimes people just want you to listen, and not react.

I understand that we tend to find "flaws" with ourselves and want to change them for the better. But sometimes I think that these flaws are what make us who we are. Without these flaws, we'd be someone else. Conversely, what you may see as a flaw in yourself could be seen as a great positive through someone else's eyes.

I guess, at the end of the day, we're all on the same quest in the journey of life...looking for someone who'll accept us for who we are. I don't believe in changing your personality traits for someone. Changing habits, yeah that's possible, if it's for the better. But your personality...no. If someone is telling you to be less talkative, be more social, avoiding conversations around your topics of interest, asking you to do things that they like but never doing things you like...that's not a healthy relationship. And that's not compromise either.

So to my friend, you know who you are, if you're reading this, don't change one bit. Your blatant and brutal to-the-face honesty is something I appreciate, and what the world needs more of.

And to my small group of readers, think of someone who has a unique personality trait, or just a usual one..maybe they've felt insecure about it or avoided talking about it due to afraid of being judged...text/call them and compliment them, genuinely.

...and next time a person wants to talk about their interest, and they utter the words "I'm sorry, am I boring you?"...remember, they're only asking that because they've been told that this particular interest of theirs is boring. So just listen. We live in a narcissistic world where everything is about "me me me". It's time we used our social platforms to create a world of equality, consideration and empathy.

...which is what I'm trying to do with this post.  

Updates + Realizations

So I know it's been a while...this is what an intensive Masters course does to one. They have no time to do anything. Okay I lie. It's writers' block. Okay I lie again. It really is time. And lack of anything to write about...so writers' block? Meh.

Anyway. Life has been weird lately. Mainly because I actually have a routine. Like I said. Masters student life. I actually sleep on time and wake up on time, cook, work, workout...time management has become my superpower.

A week back, a good friend of mine and I had a conversation about life in general and where it's heading...and why. That conversation made me self reflect more than I should have...which I am thankful for. It's because of that I now have the superpower of time management. No really.

This made me reflect further...sometimes you meet people, and you don't know when, how or where they will have an impact on your life. But they will. Be it a huge impact or something minute...they always will leave you with something...thoughts, memories, advice, memoirs...anything.

They say family sticks with you no matter what, which is very true. But if you can find a friend that can do that too, consider yourself lucky...because you just added one more member to the family...:)

Flaws?

If I had to show you an A4 sheet of paper with a black dot on it, you'd notice the black dot first, yes? It's human nature. You're drawn to it. The whole sheet of paper is white, but you'll (or we'll) only see the black dot.

That's how we see people as well from time to time. We notice their "flaws" per say...or something that stands out (could be). Taking on this perspective, we could assume that flaws are not necessarily flaws. As one person may think talking too much is a nuisance, another may think, "wow...they can talk about anything to anyone", therefore admiring your socialising skills.

I may just be rambling on about some small topic that I introspect about now and then. But the point of this is, give people a chance. A first impression does not always count. People are flawed, we all are...but these flaws work in our favour as we would not be who we are if we didn't have these flaws. Yes? Yes.

The black dot on the A4 sheet of paper could be the starting point of a whole new pattern. Don't let it scare you. :)

Happy Friday!

Comparisons

I think it is normal human nature to have the need to compare. We compare our clothes, appearances, things, work load and so on.

But can you imagine life, if for once, we didn't compare how one is better or how one is worse? If we could just sit and be happy about the half a chocolate we have? Why is there the constant need to compare?

And let me bring in the technological factor of today: Social Networking. It's a good thing...but reality is that we've articles (some useful, some not so useful) circulating about the most random shit on earth. I recently read an article about why Montreal is better than Toronto. Fair enough article; but not when your arguments are based on a better party and booze life.

Another thing we all (students) tend to do is compare the amount of workload we have. Why? Are we trying to make the other person feel bad that we're working more? Who are we kidding? We spend half our time procrastinating on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and our beds; and the other half cribbing about the amount of work we have. If we cut off one of two, preferably the latter, we'd have enough time to do the "work" we crib about.

As I mentioned earlier, comparing is human nature. Sometimes I think that without comparisons, we'd have no motivating factor. For example, when my friend complains to me about the amount of work he has, I realise that I, too, have work (probably not the same amount) and actually get that work done because I feel guilty that he has more work than I do. Which is probably not the case anyway.

As for comparing places...don't even go there. That's probably the most stupidest thing to do. Places are different...they hold different cultures, historical facts, people, food, architecture...everything. It's like comparing a potato and a carrot...they're both vegetables. Let them be bro.

"The One"

There are many Movies, Series, Books and what not about "The One". It's nice, romantic, sweet, yada yada. But it's also a sort of myth.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you've found "the one" then good for you. But for people like me, who are still in search of "the one", I've some reality checks for you...uh...us?

Looking for "The One"
Photograph By: Tanushree Dwivedi

Constantly looking for "the one" creates a sort of ideal. It's like falling in love with the concept of love. Furthermore, if you do meet someone, you start off well, of course. But as time goes on, you may try to change the person to match the "ideal" you had in mind.

Which brings me to my second point: why are we on this search for "the one"? Why can't we date like normal people? Like Monica, Rachel and Joey from Friends? Why should we be like Ted from How I Met Your Mother? (Although he's had his moments too) Just let life flow.

I'm probably not the one to preach as half my posts are about love and what not. But making our life revolve around finding "the one" is kinda a waste. I blame movies and series for making this the main quest of life. It's silly.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've to go and get my binoculars. My potential "the one" is standing outside. 

10 Advantages of Heartbreak

It may be a little stupid, silly, unrealistic perhaps. But it's something I've always wanted to write about. I mean, it's better to look at the positives right?

1. Eat Chocolates/Ice Cream without feeling guilty. You deserve it.
2. Your taste in music is likely to get good (or better than before).
3. You discover new things about yourself - introspection.
4. You realise who your true friends are - those who genuinely care and are there for you.
5. You'll probably become good at writing poetry...or quotes.
6. Distraction causes you to find new interests.
7. Distraction also causes you to finish all your pending work in time (sometimes even earlier) - efficiency.
8. You tend to appreciate nature (more than before anyway).
9. This is probably the only phase in life where "Chic Flicks" are appreciated and make sense (It's an advantage for them, if not you, at least).
10. You escaped being with someone who could be a jerk. (Even if you were in love with him/her, they broke your heart. Ergo, they suck).

I also read this somewhere: "If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So shut up!"
Funny, eh? Profoundness in play: If someone hurt you emotionally, it's not the end of the world. Or the end of your life. Move on. Life is a long journey involving beauty, nature, wonderful people and love; don't let petty things (or people) ruin it for you.

Selena Gomez and The Scene - Who Says

Introspection's Synonym: Boredom

So apparently my emotions are reflected on my blog. I really do not know if that’s true? I don’t use my blog for introspection. Introspection is something personal. Something I’d do when I’m alone. But then again, we introspect in a crowd too. Please don’t give the screen that look. We do; in lectures when we’re bored, among friends when we’re bored, when we go through “depression”, when we go through a break up, when we go through a fucked up phase in life…why is introspection associated with negativity?

Come to think of it, I don’t think a person sits and thinks about their positive qualities. It’s always about the negative qualities. I don’t think a person sits and thinks to themselves, “I have a nice face…and eyes…” there’s always that “but” factor after the positives. “I have a nice face…and eyes…but I am fat.”

Anyway, I really do not know the point of this blog. Or maybe I do. Maybe it’s a form of introspection. How I use the virtual world to escape from the real world. How I use my blog and its audience as a form of venting my emotions…both positive and negative.

Today’s reasons for introspection: Essay stress, Exam stress, Studies, Crush problems and the fact that I will no longer be a teenager in 2 days.

Introspection, yes? No. Usual teenage stuff? No. Life? No. Boredom? Yes. 

To prove that I'm bored (and stressed): I wrote this blog while sitting on a kitchen counter. Yes. I am awesome...but sad. 

"Shit Happens" Part II

The evening started off with us editing the most hilarious essay ever. Well not really but we never tend to realise the mistakes we make when we are sleep-typing (don't pretend you don't know what that is...you know exactly what it is. We are the procrastination generation!)

Anyway, the fun night slowly evolved into a rather serious night with all the profound talks about life, friends, relationships, boys, girls, noise, family...everything possible. But one thing that struck me most was this one sentence we constantly kept repeating, "I have gone through so much shit."

Have I? Have I really gone through so much shit? I mean for a 20 year old girl (note, girl. Not woman) to say something like that should be meaningful. But then again, "shit" could vary in understanding and definition according to various people. For one person, "I have gone through so much shit." could mean "I took the longest dump today." whereas for another it could mean, "My friends don't understand me." and for another, "I am 18 and pregnant."

My point is, the parameters of defining "shit" could be anything, really. The shit I go through can be a huge deal for me, but a small deal for someone who's "shit parameters" are more widely defined than mine. Make sense? No. Then the point of my so called "post" has gone through to your head. Do reflect upon it.

For more information on shit, please read "SHIT HAPPENS"

Life

We all love our parents don't we? And of course, our parents loved their parents didn't they? Then I have one question; why were old age homes invented?

Sure everything revolves around money today. That's a fact. Fact fact fact. Am sure Mr Gradgrind from Charles Dickens' 'Hard Times' would be so proud of me for saying this. No emotions involved...just a mechanical life: Go to work, make money, come home, eat, shit, sleep, wake up the next day and do it all over again.

Has it never occurred to the kids who dump their parents in old age homes that their parents could have dumped them in an orphanage as well? Or left them on the streets? But they didn't! They took care of you; when you lied, they scolded you; when you were down, they encouraged you; when you hurt yourself, they took care of you. How do you have the heart to dump someone who gave birth to you? Who brought you into this world? Who made you who you are today?

Life is too short to live mechanically. It's the small things in life we need to appreciate. It's the people in our lives who make a difference. I learned recently:

"One day, you need to have someone with
whom you can look back at these memories..."
Photograph by: Tanushree Dwivedi

It took time, but I learnt to live.

However be the days, I have learnt to live,

Now I have known this, what's happiness and what's sorrow;

Both are weathers of two moments;

Neither they wait nor stay.

Life gets made of two colours, 

Now angry, now placated.

This, this is here...

- Der lagi lekin maine ab hai jeena seekh liya, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.

Learn to live, yes. Seize the moment, yes. Make memories, yes. But never do these things alone. One day, you need to have someone with whom you can look back at these memories. Family, friends, strangers, lovers...everyone means something at some point in your life. 

Aging

A few more months and it’s all over,

I am so young, so sober.

Everyone around me dances and sings,

With alcohol in their systems,

Unaware of the danger it brings.

I looked around at my tidy room,

Everything had its own place; Even the tiny broom.

When did everything run by so quickly?

It seemed just like yesterday,

When my mother used to do things for me,

As I sat there, looking sickly.

An immature kid I was.

Running around like there was no such thing as danger.

Today I sit at a desk,

With pen and paper,

Writing this ridiculous poem,

About something that is yet to come.

3 more months; the countdown begins.

This is so nerve wrecking!

People say, “Age is just a number”

And to them I say, “Well, you couldn't get any dumber!”

3 more months, I will no longer be a teenager.

Oh well, let the mature shit begin.