Love

It has no definite definition;
It's of many genres - mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, relatives, friends, relationships;
It's complicated;
It's simple;
It's tough;
It's easy;
It's based more on action - care, a hug, a kiss, a smile, a message, a gesture;
It goes through many tests - tears, smiles, pranks, dates;
It's intensity is immeasurable;
It's crazy;
It's pure;
It's painful;
It's relaxing;
It's overrated;
It's true if you grow old together;
It's not about compromise - or completion;
It's about complementing each other;
It's never planned;
It just happens...

Dil Chata Hai - Jaane Kyon

"The Heart Wants - Wonder Why"

(This video has the option for subtitles)

The Stages of Life

The reality of life hurts,

      1.       As a child, you will fall down and hurt yourself

      2.       As a school kid, you will have no best friend

      3.       As a teenager, you will have some fucked up hormonal and emotional swings

      4.       As a late teenager, you will be used and dumped

      5.       As a mature adult, you will work your ass off day and night

      6.       As a mother, you will give up so many things just to stay home and make it a home

      7.       As a father, you will work so hard to provide for your family

      8.       As a sister, you will have endless arguments about silly things with your siblings

      9.       As a wife/husband, you will have to make many sacrifices

      10.   As an old person, you will be bored of life

 But there’s always a “but”

      1.       But later on, you will show off your scar and remember how you stayed strong through it all.

      2.       But, you will have a group of friends with whom you play “mud”.

      3.       But, you will always remember your first crush.

      4.       But, you will never realise how you’ve probably done the same to someone else.

      5.       But, the money is so totally worth it.

      6.       But, it is worth it when your husband and kids say, “Oh what lovely sambar mom!”

      7.       But, it is worth it when your kids grow up and are a success thanks to your education.

      8.       But, it’s the advice sessions that really count!

      9.       But, these sacrifices are what make it work.

      10.   But, you’ll learn to reflect upon the last 9 points of your life and accept that fact that “Life is good. I have lived my life.”

Life

We all love our parents don't we? And of course, our parents loved their parents didn't they? Then I have one question; why were old age homes invented?

Sure everything revolves around money today. That's a fact. Fact fact fact. Am sure Mr Gradgrind from Charles Dickens' 'Hard Times' would be so proud of me for saying this. No emotions involved...just a mechanical life: Go to work, make money, come home, eat, shit, sleep, wake up the next day and do it all over again.

Has it never occurred to the kids who dump their parents in old age homes that their parents could have dumped them in an orphanage as well? Or left them on the streets? But they didn't! They took care of you; when you lied, they scolded you; when you were down, they encouraged you; when you hurt yourself, they took care of you. How do you have the heart to dump someone who gave birth to you? Who brought you into this world? Who made you who you are today?

Life is too short to live mechanically. It's the small things in life we need to appreciate. It's the people in our lives who make a difference. I learned recently:

"One day, you need to have someone with
whom you can look back at these memories..."
Photograph by: Tanushree Dwivedi

It took time, but I learnt to live.

However be the days, I have learnt to live,

Now I have known this, what's happiness and what's sorrow;

Both are weathers of two moments;

Neither they wait nor stay.

Life gets made of two colours, 

Now angry, now placated.

This, this is here...

- Der lagi lekin maine ab hai jeena seekh liya, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.

Learn to live, yes. Seize the moment, yes. Make memories, yes. But never do these things alone. One day, you need to have someone with whom you can look back at these memories. Family, friends, strangers, lovers...everyone means something at some point in your life. 

Father and Child

This post is dedicated to my Father and all other Fathers in the world.

Every man talks about the heart warming relationship between a mother and her child. However, the relationship between a father and his child is equally heart warming and special.

A father always shares a special bond with his child, be it his son or his daughter. He will always treasure the moments he has spent with his children; be it a small game of baseball with his son or a special talk with his daughter before her first date.

Photographer: Lakshmi Subramaniyam

In any case, it is always the father who helps the child realise his responsibilities. When a child walks into his house with a report card full of red marks, it is the father's duty to analyse this report card. Normal situations like these will involve the father getting into a rage. But at the end of the day, the father sits his child down and explains the importance of education to the kid. During these small talks is when the father and child bond.

I remember my father advising me when I didn't fair well in my exams. He told me that it didn't matter and that at least I passed. He talked to me about his personal experiences of failure. I always look up to him. He has always been supportive of what my sister and I do. He has always talked to us when something went wrong and always chose the right words to say.

It is typical that the child may react in a negative manner. However, as the child matures, he realises the importance of his father's words. I know I always do. It is because of the advice and scoldings that when a child grows up, he gains a sense of responsibility.

Any relationship has stages of progression. But that one of a father and his child is special and lasts forever. I love you Appa.