Embrace your flaws

This post may sound super profound, but it really isn't. It's just me venting.

So I recently had a friend of mine come up to me (randomly) and say, "I've been reflecting...the person I am, is not who I am supposed to be. I mean, I say these things and do these things without thinking...and maybe it's time I started thinking. Be more considerate. I mean, otherwise I could just get into a lot of trouble."

Which got me thinking...why does she want to change? What made her think this way? Did someone tell her something? I didn't ask her, because sometimes people just want you to listen, and not react.

I understand that we tend to find "flaws" with ourselves and want to change them for the better. But sometimes I think that these flaws are what make us who we are. Without these flaws, we'd be someone else. Conversely, what you may see as a flaw in yourself could be seen as a great positive through someone else's eyes.

I guess, at the end of the day, we're all on the same quest in the journey of life...looking for someone who'll accept us for who we are. I don't believe in changing your personality traits for someone. Changing habits, yeah that's possible, if it's for the better. But your personality...no. If someone is telling you to be less talkative, be more social, avoiding conversations around your topics of interest, asking you to do things that they like but never doing things you like...that's not a healthy relationship. And that's not compromise either.

So to my friend, you know who you are, if you're reading this, don't change one bit. Your blatant and brutal to-the-face honesty is something I appreciate, and what the world needs more of.

And to my small group of readers, think of someone who has a unique personality trait, or just a usual one..maybe they've felt insecure about it or avoided talking about it due to afraid of being judged...text/call them and compliment them, genuinely.

...and next time a person wants to talk about their interest, and they utter the words "I'm sorry, am I boring you?"...remember, they're only asking that because they've been told that this particular interest of theirs is boring. So just listen. We live in a narcissistic world where everything is about "me me me". It's time we used our social platforms to create a world of equality, consideration and empathy.

...which is what I'm trying to do with this post.  

Moving On...

I think the main reason we don't like moving on is because it's a cause for change. And as humans, we don't like change. Which is weird considering we don't like eating the same thing everyday...

But sometimes you don't know it, and life gives you the most inevitable change possible...and in that moment, you hate life. You don't want it to change. You want things to be the way they are. But why are we so resistant to change? I mean, not all change is bad. In fact, most of the changes are good. We don't know it because we're programmed to think they're bad.

When I left Zambia for India, I didn't know what to expect. I was very much against the idea of moving to India. I didn't want to be around people I don't know and most certainly did not want a change in cultural and social norms. But when I got there, I understood how I was completely wrong about India. I grew to love the place, and not just because the food was nice but because I made some amazing friends!

After establishing a fantastic social circle in India, I didn't want to leave that and move to Swansea. Don't get me wrong, I was excited to move, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if people abroad would be as chilled and fun as the friends I made in Bangalore.

Yet again, my expectations proved me wrong. I met, once more, an amazing group of friends in Swansea and they made the experience all the more culturally fulfilling and equally fun! And having never lived by the sea, Swansea certainly made me a beach lover.

Now that this journey has come to an end, I'm moving back to India. And because my previous experience with India was amazing, I'm not scared of this change. It's giving me an opportunity to move on. I've made some sensible decisions in Swansea, but also some rather stupid ones. And I have a chance to move on. I am definitely scared to move on from student life to work life. But that's change innit? Inexorable. Inevitable. Surprising. And a mix of good and bad. If you want to move on, you gotta let go of the past, let go of expectations and most importantly, let go of yourself. And if you understood that, you, my friend, are ready for a change :)

Updates + Realizations

So I know it's been a while...this is what an intensive Masters course does to one. They have no time to do anything. Okay I lie. It's writers' block. Okay I lie again. It really is time. And lack of anything to write about...so writers' block? Meh.

Anyway. Life has been weird lately. Mainly because I actually have a routine. Like I said. Masters student life. I actually sleep on time and wake up on time, cook, work, workout...time management has become my superpower.

A week back, a good friend of mine and I had a conversation about life in general and where it's heading...and why. That conversation made me self reflect more than I should have...which I am thankful for. It's because of that I now have the superpower of time management. No really.

This made me reflect further...sometimes you meet people, and you don't know when, how or where they will have an impact on your life. But they will. Be it a huge impact or something minute...they always will leave you with something...thoughts, memories, advice, memoirs...anything.

They say family sticks with you no matter what, which is very true. But if you can find a friend that can do that too, consider yourself lucky...because you just added one more member to the family...:)

Flaws?

If I had to show you an A4 sheet of paper with a black dot on it, you'd notice the black dot first, yes? It's human nature. You're drawn to it. The whole sheet of paper is white, but you'll (or we'll) only see the black dot.

That's how we see people as well from time to time. We notice their "flaws" per say...or something that stands out (could be). Taking on this perspective, we could assume that flaws are not necessarily flaws. As one person may think talking too much is a nuisance, another may think, "wow...they can talk about anything to anyone", therefore admiring your socialising skills.

I may just be rambling on about some small topic that I introspect about now and then. But the point of this is, give people a chance. A first impression does not always count. People are flawed, we all are...but these flaws work in our favour as we would not be who we are if we didn't have these flaws. Yes? Yes.

The black dot on the A4 sheet of paper could be the starting point of a whole new pattern. Don't let it scare you. :)

Happy Friday!

10 things 'Finding Fanny' taught me.

[SPOILERS]...sort of...

I went for Finding Fanny a few days back. I also went for the English version...for reasons that only few people know. I understand it better than Hindi. The movie on a whole was enjoyable. We rarely get Hindi movies that portray dark humour. This was a good watch especially for those who appreciate brilliant acting.

Here's a list of things that the movie taught me:

1. When proposing to your love, please do it in person. Not via a letter. Unless you're delivering.
2. Love can be right under your nose and you wouldn't know.
3. Move on. If you can't let go, how will you see what's right under your nose?
4. When you fire a gun, make sure no one is dead. Unless it was intentional :/
5. Artists are full of emotions...but sometimes they can be heartless too.
6. When you get the chance to tell someone you love them, tell them. Regret can be with you lifelong.
7. Bollywood movies can be nice even without music numbers.
8. Helping those you don't want to help can lead to you discovering something wonderful.
9. Be responsible for your own pets.
10. When you want to cry, cry without caring.

Catch the trailer of the movie! :)

Epiphany...

I have not blogged in a month. I am sorry (this is me apologising to the more responsible me).

Having said all that, the excuse is as it always has been, exams and travel! On the bright side, I am graduating in exactly two weeks! So...that break was really worth it (not).

Today's post is more of an...epiphany. Can you imagine what our lives would be like if we didn't meet certain people, or do certain things? I mean...where would we be? Would life be better? Or worse?

It's quite profound, I agree. But it's brain wrecking. The whole point is to imagine.

But all in all, many people in our lives impact the way we are. It's like a post in Humans of New York discussed, stating that the eyes do not see. They merely interpret. It's the brain that sees. What we see depends on our experiences, people we've met, our understandings and so on.

There's always a thin line between seeing, looking and perceiving.

And I always believe in perception.

#selfie

A few weeks back, my friends and I were discussing the concept of a selife. What is a selfie? In simple terms, it's when one takes a picture of himself by clicking at the time; no timer, no anything..or at least that's my understanding.

However, we were looking at it from a different point of view. Do we take selifes because we are lonely? I mean, think about it...you're taking a perfect picture of yourself, just so that the other people (who look at the selfie) can appreciate it...unless of course you do not upload it on a social network...in which case...you just take selfies, for fun? I dunno.

On the other hand, maybe selfies help you increase your self confidence? I mean, you keep clicking pictures of yourself until you click the perfect one, where everything is flawless. That increases your self confidence, because for once, your mirror and the camera reached an agreement. However, there are also a variety of selifies...like "ugly selfies" and "tape selfies"...but let's not go there.

It's all a technology dominant world. Let's try and bring back the days of film roll cameras...where a picture was actually worth a thousand words...and not a loss of thousand words, like today. With that, I shall end with The Chainsmoker's parody on "selfies". Enjoy!

The Chainsmokers - #SELFIE

Blind Faith

Blind faith is a controversial topic. It involves the one thing that unites, yet breaks groups: Religion. Thankfully, that's not the focal of this post.

Many people believe in God. And even if they don't, they probably do when certain things are needed. Like passing exams. Or the mere expression, "Oh My God!"...oh I'm sorry. "OMG!" Although, that's not faith. It's just...an expression.

But why do people question the faith? "You can't see God! How do you know he exists?" Well dude, I can't see your brain. How do I know that it exists?! Pfft. (Okay fine the brain has been scientifically proven to exist and blah blah...but I didn't see his. Therefore he doesn't have one. If he can have that theory, so can I).

Moving on...blind faith works in mysterious ways. For example...when we fall in love, we'd do anything for the other person. Without second thoughts. It's quite stupid. We also do the same for friends...we do stupid things together.

As many people would see it all as a negative...I think it's good to have blind faith. If I didn't have blind faith in God, I'd have no one to make deals with. I'd probably actually gamble and lose money. If I didn't have blind faith in love, I'd not trust my family. If I didn't have blind faith in friendship, I'd not have the memories of those stupid moments, that now lead me to nostalgic thoughts.

Ergo, don't question faiths. Or I'll question your existence. 

"We Are Entitled To Our Own Opinions"

In today's world, every argument ends the same, "We're entitled to our own opinions" or "That's your perspective!" and that's the end of that.

However, in certain aspects (take note that only in certain aspects and not all), does that barely matter. I believe that due to social networking, globalisation and well, technology in general, all our views are moulded into one. Everyone reads something online and everyone believes it.

We always complain about "that one idiot" who says something against what is posted, and we think his view is irrational or doesn't make sense. But you know what? He was man enough to post his opinion online. Many of us do not post our views online in fear of judgement from people, who follow the "social norms".

Of course, this isn't true for everyone. I'm just posting a thought. You're entitled to your own opinion.

It hurts...But Not Always

It hurts...
When I look at you,
Knowing I can't have you;
Temptation...no can do.

It hurts...
I stand there,
Staring at you...
Why can't you change?

It hurts...
I am not the only one;
There are millions,
Who feel alike.

It hurts...
When I smile,
When I cough,
or when I run a mile.

Two weeks later,
I feel better.
The pain is gone;
It was momentary;

I can have you, sweets.
You have changed, weight.
Motivation is all that's needed.
Exercise...is essential. And helpful.

Fusion

One night as I was going to sleep, I was listening to my music. I got the idea that I should compile a few lyrics of various songs to make a poem; and this is an attempt. It doesn't make much sense, I feel. But any feedback, criticism and comments are welcome! The songs used and links to the originals are provided at the end of the "poem".

[No copyright infringement intended]

FUSION

Never put my love out on the line,
Never really noticed;
All the little things you did.
It makes all the difference.

I leave my heart open,
Although I am broken;
It's not all darkness,
It's not all light.

I got nothing,
But my aching soul.
You don't have to fix this;
Sit with me tonight.

I gasp for air,
Little did I know;
It hurts so bad.
It hit me...
Like a Heart Attack.

Song List:

1. Demi Lovato: Heart Attack

2. Enrique: Finally Found You

3. Enrique: Heart Attack

4. Garriston Starr: Sit With Me Tonight

5. Lana Del Ray: Young and Beautiful

6. One Direction: Story of My Life

Loving and Falling in Love

Obviously there is a distinct difference between the two. I can love anyone or anything. Like I love coffee. But falling in love is more emotional, meaningful and sometimes unrequited. But that's not the point. The point is, I have fallen in love twice. And both, sadly, with fictional characters.

Bet you see where the post is going. It's not about the downside of love. Or the love in my life. I have sufficient love in my life. My family loves me and I love them back. That's all that matters. Friends do love...but only if you're really really really really close.

Moving on. The two characters I've been "in love" with are Dean from Supernatural and Stiles from Teen Wolf. Now before you judge a show by it's name, give it a watch. I seriously think the writers of Teen Wolf should have named their show something else...like Wolf Bane (as suggested by Tanushree). That way, their show would have no comparison to the sad series of Twilight. Seriously, the two are not even remotely related!

Getting back to the point, I am obviously, not in love with these two characters. If similar people existed in my life, I probably would fall in love with them. That's the thing with love...it's all very subjective. We sometimes have that feeling, when your friend tells you about someone they like and you're all "Him? Seriously? What do you see in him?" If we all saw the same in everyone, we'd end up loving the same people...and we don't want that, do we?

So, don't ever judge your friends for who they like. Let people make their life happen the way they want it. Do not interfere. Love is subjective...accept it that way.

And on that note, here is a video made by my friend, Bettina, on the love of my life, Stiles! Enjoy:

boredsleepycranky - [M.E.R.C.Y]. Stiles Stilinski

Important Questions

1. Who decides how we pronounce words?
2. What is beyond the universe?
3. How do we get out of the "friend zone"? (Where is Ron Weasley?)
4. Why is teenage, the most confusing stage of life, the most influencing of our lives?
5. Why do we need a contract legally uniting two people (marriage) when there's one that separates them (divorce)?
6. Why do we have to follow unwritten social norms? (Such as don't pick your nose in public)
7. Do aliens exist? Or are they just other humans on another planet? Or in another galaxy?
8. Why didn't Joey and Phoebe get together?
9. Is there life after death?
10. Can you think of more questions? 

The definition of "Beautiful"

What is the definition of "beautiful" or "beauty"?

I believe it's something subjective. The more you admire something or someone, the more beautiful it or that someone becomes for you. It's not about the physicality or outward appearance, but the inner sense. But then again, that's my opinion. So let's see what some people had to say:

"Umm that's a hard one, but I guess beauty is a quality in something that appeals to us." - Srishti

"Everyone is beauty-full. No one is beautiful by his/her features but by his/her nature. Beauty is beauty. It can be soul, heart, mind or gesture." - Tanushree

"I don't know. This is such a hard question...okay, beautiful is when the most placid and normal places/faces look magical, almost surreal and you know something is special about it/the person but you can never point it out.." - Sundeep

"No one has a definition. Because it's not always about physical beauty." - Sharang

"Someone's intellect." - Parinetha

"It's something more than just physically attractive, something mind blowing, something that takes your breath away...I don't know." - Mashal

"Well. Something that defines sophistication and finesse in utter simplicity." - Ketan

"To me, being full in my stomach is beautiful...ie, food." - B. Subramaniyam

Subjectivity at it's best!

Oh and here's what Jason Mraz thinks:

Jason Mraz - Beauty in the Ugly

I don't know.

Final year and all that jazz.

It's a confusing phase in life. Lots of decisions, lots of pressure, lots of questions...I am at a loss to really write about anything else.

Gone are the days when finding a job wasn't hard. It was at your fingertips...and the annoyance of "work experience" was NOT a huge issue. Circle of life I tell you.

Circle of Life
Image Source: Google

But no no. These days they have those graduate opportunities also. But then again, SO many people are graduating, that the probability is just so low.

The thing with people of today (including me) is that we dream big. All of us. We tend to forget the existence of realism. We're either optimistic, pessimistic or...romantic? (I think my exams are getting to me.)

Anyhu, we all say life is complicated...but I believe we make it complicated, either by our actions, or by the actions of people around us. But let's all screw that, and have ice cream.

What Hath Come Of the World?!

<insert dramatic face here>

I always complain about how my parents don't understand me because of the major generation gap. They don't understand why I am always on my phone...or laptop...or iPod...or anything really. They always ask me to make use of my time and do things constructively. Use time productively. Having aims and goals in life.So on and so forth.

I hated those long lectures. It's bad enough I have my own philosophical thoughts going on in my head, with my parents yapping away on the other end about reality of life.

But today, as I was reading an article about how one should live in their 20s (it was directed at the male audience, but I think readers are sane enough to generalise and adapt some of the points to our situation...or in this case, gender), I realised how correct my parents were.

What's stupid is, it was an article that made me realise this. What's sad is, we have people writing articles to tell us how to live. I mean, I don't think my parents, or their parents, or their parents' parents read articles and lead life. And they turned out to be perfectly fine!

Which is why I generally do not appreciate the media and technology. They influence our thoughts waaaaay too much and we start to have this weird cyber personality. I can talk a shit load here on my blog and on Facebook and Twitter, but stare at you like a wide eyed raccoon in person and say nothing.

Having said all that, it's ironic. Because I am a media student. And this is technology that I'm using to convey this message. What hath come of the world? Where it just goes around in circles? The quest for answers hath lost its meaning. There are no answers. Just circular journeys. 

Moments

Effed up moments

That moment...

when your crush walks by and all you can do is stare like a creepy owl. o.O

when you want to hug someone and instead they choose to shake hands. >_<

when you open a bag of chips but they decide to volcano erupt on you. -_-

Awesome moments!

That moment...

when you and your friend have telepathic conversations in front of an idiot. ^_^

when you think it's Tuesday, but it's actually Friday! B-)

when there's chocolate ice cream in your freezer. <3

Moments to move on...

That moment...

when you realise your soul mate is in New York (he loves penguins).

when you tell a guy he is perfect for you and he replies saying, "oh...okay..." 

when you eat tonnes of junk food and think it's okay but subconsciously you know it's not.

Moments to cherish

That moment...

when your mom Whatsapp texts you to pass time. :-)

when your sister gets hungry because you're Skype cooking lunch. :D

when your dad scolds you, you retaliate maturely and he says you've good English. xD

Of Love and Other Things Part II

Click here to read Part I.

So I'm in my final year of University...I'm less than a month away from the much hyped "21st Birthday"...and I'm still the same old crazy, food loving, pathetically in love, slightly delirious and weird girl.

So...have I learned what love is? Meh. Not really. I've had eye candy moments here and there...sometimes some profound feelings for some guy here and there. I'm like a remote control...just changing channels here and there! Muhahaha.

No serious talk though, love isn't something that can be defined noh? Going through a weird phase in life right now, I cannot be more sure about this. One cannot define love. There are just instances and moments that do so.

Recently, I came across a blog, that made me, for the first time, appreciate technology. They do make relationships work. I mean sure, their in-your-face sweet concept of maintaining a blog as a couple made me feel a little "icky" (Friends reference!) inside...but only because they have what we're all looking for...or at least something similar.

So here's the story...boy and girl meet, start dating, still dating...long distance! How do they get through long distance? Maintain a blog about it, together! Get them "awwws" rolling outta your tongue people!! Click here to read their blog.

Happy reading! :)

Comparisons

I think it is normal human nature to have the need to compare. We compare our clothes, appearances, things, work load and so on.

But can you imagine life, if for once, we didn't compare how one is better or how one is worse? If we could just sit and be happy about the half a chocolate we have? Why is there the constant need to compare?

And let me bring in the technological factor of today: Social Networking. It's a good thing...but reality is that we've articles (some useful, some not so useful) circulating about the most random shit on earth. I recently read an article about why Montreal is better than Toronto. Fair enough article; but not when your arguments are based on a better party and booze life.

Another thing we all (students) tend to do is compare the amount of workload we have. Why? Are we trying to make the other person feel bad that we're working more? Who are we kidding? We spend half our time procrastinating on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and our beds; and the other half cribbing about the amount of work we have. If we cut off one of two, preferably the latter, we'd have enough time to do the "work" we crib about.

As I mentioned earlier, comparing is human nature. Sometimes I think that without comparisons, we'd have no motivating factor. For example, when my friend complains to me about the amount of work he has, I realise that I, too, have work (probably not the same amount) and actually get that work done because I feel guilty that he has more work than I do. Which is probably not the case anyway.

As for comparing places...don't even go there. That's probably the most stupidest thing to do. Places are different...they hold different cultures, historical facts, people, food, architecture...everything. It's like comparing a potato and a carrot...they're both vegetables. Let them be bro.

Panic Attacks!

So it's final year of university. Oh. My. God.

It's only been a week of university. And I've had five panic attacks. I even lost my phone for a while!

Which takes me to my next point...why is life so...pressure inducing? I mean, it's only week one and I'm so scared about what life is going to be like once I (hopefully) graduate. Will I do my post graduation? Will I even qualify into a decent university for post graduation? Will I get a decent job? Will I move back to India? Will I go on the free trip to Mars?

So. Much. Pressure.

I know I haven't blogged in a while. Why? PANIC ATTACKS. I've so much going on in terms of academic life...because let's face it, I don't have an exciting social life. My social life is sitting and watching random shows and YouTube videos...and not until recently, vines...while I eat Krave.

Point is, what is the point of all the pressure and panic attacks? It does nothing but make me more nervous. And worried.

But sometimes, I feel like that's a good thing. It means I actually care about what I am going to do in the future. It makes me realise the importance of life in general and where I am in life.

As always, this was an exhaust session. Of thoughts, feelings and panic attacks!
Oh and if you've panic attacks, here are some ways to get back on track:

1. Go to sleep
2. Eat Krave
3. Go for a walk
4. Watch Vine videos (this applies even if you're not the panic types)
5. Write a blog!
6. Take a shower (doesn't matter if you already have)
7. Hide your phone (major distraction)
8. Get off Facebook (posts that people post tend to start panic attacks)
9. Listen to music (preferably Rock or Rap)
10. Talk to a friend

And that's all! I can't ask you to not panic. We all do at some point. Trust me.