What is Marriage?

Dear Me,

• I trust you with everything. 
• I've shared everything with you, with no judgement from your side.
• I love how you're genuinely happy when I tell you my happy stories.
• You always listen to my endless and irritating rants. And I mean listen, listen.
• You always make me smile.
• I know I'll never be bored with you.
• No matter how much time we spend together, how much we talk, I'm always left wishing for more. 
• But while I'm left wishing for more, I love that you understand when we need space.
• I'm a better person because of you constantly pushing me and encouraging me to do things out of my comfort zone.

...and you want me to let all this go?

Love,

Me

(Was that a bit creepy? Like a psychological thriller?)

I do all these things to myself and fail to understand why I need someone else in the equation to fulfill that. Why is marriage such a huge topic of discussion in our society, immediately after a job is found? Is there no room for the above...at least for a few years? Are we not meant to make a life for ourselves and live it, before we add someone else to the equation? Why do have to always be dependent on someone for life to move on? Why can't we make our own actions, hardships and thoughts work for us?

As an almost 23 year old woman, I find the topic of marriage (or commitment in general) a very minuscule part of my life. There are way more important things on my mind - How can I spend more time with my family? Where will I be five years from now in my career path? How do I settle down in my new job? How to I adapt to the new environment I'm in? Who are my friends? Where do I visit next year? 

This isn't a feminist rant (I'm not a feminist) or a vent session from personal conversations at home. My parents kinda think the way I do. Yeah the topic comes up, but I think having had two daughters, they sort of understand where I'm coming from. They encourage me to be independent. Now don't think marriage is dependence. It's not. I can't speak for marriage right now, but I can't speak against it either.

The whole point of this long rant is - marriage should not be an ultimate goal in life. Marriage should not be a topic of discussion for any woman or man aged below 28 (unless they consent it, then yay, good for you). Marriage should not be looked down upon either. 

Marriage and commitment should not be feared, but should not be the center of attention either.

Please note that these are personal opinions. Please feel free to voice your own in a comment below or email me :)

Use and Throw

Having lived in this world for 20 years, I now know the value that people hold. Yes. Being 20 can make you wise. Okay, maybe not. But trust me, I  may know more at my age than my parents did when they were my age. This is all thanks to the developments in technology and something called "Google" that helps me search for everything...even ridiculous things.

Thanks to development, we are all self obsessed. Yes. I am too. This is why I have this blog. And 10 different profile pictures on Facebook of just me. Without anyone else. I am self obsessed. I like to tell my stories. I like to talk about my experiences. I like to take pictures of myself (please don't give me that look. I know you do too. At least I don't do it in the bathroom!). I like to update my Facebook status and get many likes. I like to see the number of followers on Twitter increase. I like to see the number of blog views increase. I AM SELF OBSESSED.

However, last night, I noticed how being self obsessed has turned me into someone I am not. It has changed me from that nice small town girl to some spoiled brat that only cares about...well...herself? It's not that I don't listen to other people's problems and stories. I do. But I immediately think of a story that relates to me. Which is sad.

This brings me to my next point. This post is not going to just criticize me; it's going to criticize all my friends too. Yes. You guys. Well not in specific. But you may want to think about it. The number of times I have tried to keep in touch with people is uncountable. But their side of the effort is not even 1/8th of mine. The number of times I have sent a 'good morning' message to my friends is again uncountable. But never once have I received the same. The number of times people have come to me for help is uncountable. But when I ask for the same, they're all busy.

I had a friend, 4 years back, who had the same issue with me. It was then that I told her, "In friendship, you don't expect the other person to return favours." Clearly I was wrong. It's not meant to be favours. If it is a favour, it's not friendship. All actions have to be based purely on care. In any relationship.

With that, I'll end by saying, do not ruin your character by getting too involved in technology. Give time for the reality of life to sink in. Because once reality hits you, you may not be able to face it.

NB: The examples given above are purely fictional. Please do not relate to them or find them offensive. 

HIGH EXPECTATIONS = HIGH DISAPPOINTMENTS