Your Passion Defines You

Sometimes I feel like we take our hobbies and/or passions for granted. We don't realise how they define us as a person, keep is grounded, sane and stable. Yes, we have people in our lives to help us do this too, but sometimes self exploration is the best way to discover something new about yourself.

Why am I writing about this? I haven't written in three months. And for someone who claims to be a passionate writer, this is the worst example to set. Not writing for three months has not damaged who I am, but it has definitely affected certain aspects of my creative process.

When I used to write regularly, I used to keep note of every idea in my small notebook. This helped have a creative flow to my writing or just some genuinely interesting things to discuss. Now, if I do get an idea, I'm at work or in the auto going home. I don't have anywhere to write...and it never occurred to me to keep note of it on my phone because I like to physically write these things down. Because of this, I've let so many good ideas go. 

Recently, I decided enough is enough. I need to get this blog up and running. Not for the handful of readers (who I appreciate), but for me. For my sanity. For me to have my venting portal back. Depending on family and friends for venting is great. But you cannot deny that they will never understand the whole of it. But they will support you and be there for you.

But your passion, be it writing, reading, baking, cooking, photography, drawing...this will allow you to see things more clearly. The process of your passion relaxes you, allowing you to have a clearer perspective of things. So let your passion define you and allow you to surpass all your fears and frustrations. 

Tell me, what's your passion??

Simply Love

Loving someone and being in love are two entirely different things. And when the two clash, it's a myriad of emotions. One wants to you do the right thing while the other is blind. Conflicted emotions are the worst. Why can't love be simple?

Or maybe it is. And if it's not, it's probably not meant to be. But they say all relationships go through hardships. So is that not love? Do you work towards love? Is love even the ultimate thing? I'm not a romantic. The idea nauseates me. But I believe in simple love - family, friendships, high school crushes...but most importantly, loving yourself. Because if you love yourself, you'll see your flaws and if not accept them, try to help yourself change them for the better.

I guess love has different forms. It's really how you and your experiences that allow you to define and perceive it in your own unique way.

And before I get a million questions as to why I posted this, here's the inspiration:

rmdrk - Instagram

Updates + Realizations

So I know it's been a while...this is what an intensive Masters course does to one. They have no time to do anything. Okay I lie. It's writers' block. Okay I lie again. It really is time. And lack of anything to write about...so writers' block? Meh.

Anyway. Life has been weird lately. Mainly because I actually have a routine. Like I said. Masters student life. I actually sleep on time and wake up on time, cook, work, workout...time management has become my superpower.

A week back, a good friend of mine and I had a conversation about life in general and where it's heading...and why. That conversation made me self reflect more than I should have...which I am thankful for. It's because of that I now have the superpower of time management. No really.

This made me reflect further...sometimes you meet people, and you don't know when, how or where they will have an impact on your life. But they will. Be it a huge impact or something minute...they always will leave you with something...thoughts, memories, advice, memoirs...anything.

They say family sticks with you no matter what, which is very true. But if you can find a friend that can do that too, consider yourself lucky...because you just added one more member to the family...:)

Blind Faith

Blind faith is a controversial topic. It involves the one thing that unites, yet breaks groups: Religion. Thankfully, that's not the focal of this post.

Many people believe in God. And even if they don't, they probably do when certain things are needed. Like passing exams. Or the mere expression, "Oh My God!"...oh I'm sorry. "OMG!" Although, that's not faith. It's just...an expression.

But why do people question the faith? "You can't see God! How do you know he exists?" Well dude, I can't see your brain. How do I know that it exists?! Pfft. (Okay fine the brain has been scientifically proven to exist and blah blah...but I didn't see his. Therefore he doesn't have one. If he can have that theory, so can I).

Moving on...blind faith works in mysterious ways. For example...when we fall in love, we'd do anything for the other person. Without second thoughts. It's quite stupid. We also do the same for friends...we do stupid things together.

As many people would see it all as a negative...I think it's good to have blind faith. If I didn't have blind faith in God, I'd have no one to make deals with. I'd probably actually gamble and lose money. If I didn't have blind faith in love, I'd not trust my family. If I didn't have blind faith in friendship, I'd not have the memories of those stupid moments, that now lead me to nostalgic thoughts.

Ergo, don't question faiths. Or I'll question your existence. 

Loving and Falling in Love

Obviously there is a distinct difference between the two. I can love anyone or anything. Like I love coffee. But falling in love is more emotional, meaningful and sometimes unrequited. But that's not the point. The point is, I have fallen in love twice. And both, sadly, with fictional characters.

Bet you see where the post is going. It's not about the downside of love. Or the love in my life. I have sufficient love in my life. My family loves me and I love them back. That's all that matters. Friends do love...but only if you're really really really really close.

Moving on. The two characters I've been "in love" with are Dean from Supernatural and Stiles from Teen Wolf. Now before you judge a show by it's name, give it a watch. I seriously think the writers of Teen Wolf should have named their show something else...like Wolf Bane (as suggested by Tanushree). That way, their show would have no comparison to the sad series of Twilight. Seriously, the two are not even remotely related!

Getting back to the point, I am obviously, not in love with these two characters. If similar people existed in my life, I probably would fall in love with them. That's the thing with love...it's all very subjective. We sometimes have that feeling, when your friend tells you about someone they like and you're all "Him? Seriously? What do you see in him?" If we all saw the same in everyone, we'd end up loving the same people...and we don't want that, do we?

So, don't ever judge your friends for who they like. Let people make their life happen the way they want it. Do not interfere. Love is subjective...accept it that way.

And on that note, here is a video made by my friend, Bettina, on the love of my life, Stiles! Enjoy:

boredsleepycranky - [M.E.R.C.Y]. Stiles Stilinski

2014

A little too late, so obviously my New Year's Resolution has nothing to do with my time management. Meh. What the hell?

Which is why I say, the whole "new year, new me" concept never works. You cannot change just because it's the start of a new year. You change when you feel like. When you think you need to start exercising, start! Don't wait for the new year.

New Year Resolutions are nothing but a back up...something that makes us feel better. Something that makes us feel like we've been given another chance. A new start.

Nope. I'm still same old me. I eat chocolates. I watch Friends (the TV show). I procrastinate. Oh but I did give up coffee...but on 28th December! So HAH!

Anyway. Point is, it's a new year. But we have exams okay? I have an issue with that by the way. How can we go home, where tis all warm and nice and stuff, and then come back to this depressing weather, and on top of that, write exams?! (<-- such a long sentence that hardly makes sense in terms of grammar and/or syntax but pfft!)

Having ranted it all out, HAPPY NEW YEAR folks! I shall be doing some new things this year. But I'll blog about all that later on...after exams, that is.

Peace be with you.

What Hath Come Of the World?!

<insert dramatic face here>

I always complain about how my parents don't understand me because of the major generation gap. They don't understand why I am always on my phone...or laptop...or iPod...or anything really. They always ask me to make use of my time and do things constructively. Use time productively. Having aims and goals in life.So on and so forth.

I hated those long lectures. It's bad enough I have my own philosophical thoughts going on in my head, with my parents yapping away on the other end about reality of life.

But today, as I was reading an article about how one should live in their 20s (it was directed at the male audience, but I think readers are sane enough to generalise and adapt some of the points to our situation...or in this case, gender), I realised how correct my parents were.

What's stupid is, it was an article that made me realise this. What's sad is, we have people writing articles to tell us how to live. I mean, I don't think my parents, or their parents, or their parents' parents read articles and lead life. And they turned out to be perfectly fine!

Which is why I generally do not appreciate the media and technology. They influence our thoughts waaaaay too much and we start to have this weird cyber personality. I can talk a shit load here on my blog and on Facebook and Twitter, but stare at you like a wide eyed raccoon in person and say nothing.

Having said all that, it's ironic. Because I am a media student. And this is technology that I'm using to convey this message. What hath come of the world? Where it just goes around in circles? The quest for answers hath lost its meaning. There are no answers. Just circular journeys. 

Care

All these days, I was under the impression that I was the person people came to, to tell me their problems, talk about random stuff, get close to, etc. I was overly flattered and proud that I wasn't close to anyone. I was content being alone and close to my sister.

Clearly I was wrong. I was completely wrong.

I get close to people. People don't get close to me. And this only hit me this morning. Don't ask how. Long story. But to cut it short, people that I get close to tend to leave my life in maximum two years. And once they leave, it's hard to maintain the same level of "closeness" via internet. It really is. Or some don't even leave physically. Some just get new friends. Or get into a relationship. Or something.

Point is, getting close to people is not just about sharing secrets, going out for movies, walks, the gym, eating together...nope. It's about care. And I care for these people. I love these people. They can be someone I spent an hour with or someone I've spent a life time with - it's not the time that counts, but the memories you've made with these people.

PS - I wrote this a month back. Was hesitant to post it then. Thought it was time.

Love

It has no definite definition;
It's of many genres - mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, relatives, friends, relationships;
It's complicated;
It's simple;
It's tough;
It's easy;
It's based more on action - care, a hug, a kiss, a smile, a message, a gesture;
It goes through many tests - tears, smiles, pranks, dates;
It's intensity is immeasurable;
It's crazy;
It's pure;
It's painful;
It's relaxing;
It's overrated;
It's true if you grow old together;
It's not about compromise - or completion;
It's about complementing each other;
It's never planned;
It just happens...

Dil Chata Hai - Jaane Kyon

"The Heart Wants - Wonder Why"

(This video has the option for subtitles)

Parenting and..um...Children-ing?

Aspect: Parenting teenagers.

Sex is such a taboo thing to talk about in India. Or maybe I just assume. But I do know that the western world is more open in talking about sex, dates, etc. with their children. And I do think this is important. In India, parents probably do talk to their children about all this. But it's all portrayed negatively.

When a girl becomes a teenager, the one advice Indian parents give their daughter(s) is "Beti (daughter), don't talk to boys that much okay? Don't be in the same room with him alone...blah blah."

Again, I may be wrong. My writings are purely based on stereotypes (sad, I know) and a few programs on the television (even more sad, I know). My parents are totally cool. They've had all kinds of talks with me and they know that I prefer to have guy friends than girl friends. This doesn't mean I am a slut and that I've had a gazillion affairs and what not. It just means I prefer to talk about music and movies rather than bitch about people behind their backs. (See? Stereotyping again.)

Because my parents have talked to me about a boy's attitude towards a girl, dating, sex, etc., I know my limits. My parents have told me about everything but they've also let me perceive it the way I want to. I have formed my opinions and principles on my own. They didn't plant it in my head. It's kind of like how the media works (according to Russell Peters): "They kind of present things in a way like 'What do you think?'" Plus when they let you think on your own, you tend to have more respect for them. Because you're being treated like an adult.

I think this is highly essential in parenting. Parents and children need to have a more friendly relationship rather than the whole authoritative picture. Advice should be given on basis of care rather than "Oh what will the neighbors think?" kind of an aspect. Parents and children, both, need to be open with each other. I'm open enough to tell my mother who I am dating or who I am not. Of course, fathers, in this aspect, will probably overreact. But that's only because they know what's going on in a guy's mind.

Having said all this, it's not entirely up to the parents. If you (child, you) want your parents to be more open about discussions about sex, dating, boys, girls, crushes, etc. you need to be open about your life to your parents. You need to tell them how you feel. You don't need to tell them immediately. You can tell them later on. But tell them. At the end of the day, if anything goes wrong, they will be the ones to help you.

So, here's a song to start your discussion. Enjoy!

Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven

Thank you Amma and Appa: You're the world's best parents! Love you!

Distance

With family, it could be the worst.
With friends, it could be bad.
With lovers, it could be heartbreaking.
With acquaintances, it could be a new beginning.

With family, it's a bonding factor.
With friends, it's a travel opportunity.
With lovers, it's a test.
With acquaintances, it's a new friendship.

In the past, there were letters.
In the present, there's Skype.
In the future, who knows?

One thing is for sure,
Distance formulates value.
Formulates strength.
Formulates responsibility.

It strengthens emotions.
Intensifies feelings.
Creates realizations.
Builds up personality.

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

Priority or Option?

This post is dedicated to my family, Amma, Appa, Akka and Jiju, two of my close friends (read sisters) that I've always been thankful to have met, Betty and Seni; and lastly, my friends.

Two posts in a day. Very unlike me. But as regular readers will know, blogging is a way of letting it all out for me. Of course a journal would be ideal. I did start, but it made no sense to me. Why blog and maintain a journal? Plus, a journal is more personal. This isn't.

So, ever been in that situation in life where you do not know whether you are a priority or an option? If you haven't, then you must be one hell of a perfect person. There's always phases in life where you felt used. Maybe a "friend" who has "not spoken to you in a long time" suddenly wants to "compare" (copy) homework. Maybe your friends call you only if they need favours. It's normal.

In life, there's always those bunch of people who will keep you as an option rather than a priority. Why? Because these people are friends. It's very rare for friends to (excuse me for saying this) "tag" you as priority. If there's anyone in the world who prioritizes you rather than look at you as an option, it's your family. If you do have friends who prioritize you, hold on to them. Because they are amazingly rare.

It's always a "Use and Throw" option with people. If they need you, they will use you. Once you're not needed, you're thrown. It's not always the case, but life does take you through a similar situation. Having said all this, I'm not saying everyone is like that. As I said earlier, there are some rare cases.

I've also made it a point to try and incorporate songs that relate to my blogposts. So here goes to my family and friends:

The Remembrandts - I'll Be There For You

Express Yourself

So I haven’t blogged in a while. I was on holiday. And then exams came in the way (they still are in the way but it’s a good stress buster to blog. There are other ways too but for that you can refer to my other blogpost, 10 Things I did Last Night Instead of Studying).

First of all, Happy New Year! It’s 2013 and we can finally get over the whole “The world is ending” crap. The world will never end. Period.

So this post is an inspiration from the recent trip to Zambia. It was a rather short one but it was eventful. Lots of ups and downs, realisations, responsibilities, advice sprees, catching up with old friends, realising who your friends really are, hanging out with kids and realising they’re not kids anymore and so on.

But the most important lesson I learned when I was there is that priorities change. Yes. They do. As you mature, so do your priorities. 4 years back, my priority was to make the guy that I am in love with realise that I am in love with him. And for some reason, I wanted him to love me back. Today, I look back at that 16 year old and laugh. What kind of shitty priority is that for a 16 year old girl? I didn’t even understand what love was at that age.

Today, my priority is to do well in my exams. I have to do well. Why? Because I finally realise the amount of efforts my parents are putting in to educate me. I mean, some people out there do not even have the opportunity to be educated. Why should I throw my opportunity down the drain? Plus, my second (and main) reason is that I LOVE MY COURSE. I know what I want to do when I am done. Which is why I cannot wait till I am done!

But who knows, tomorrow my priority could change. I may be married and my priority would be to make breakfast for my husband. Gosh. To even think of that is not a good feeling. No. My husband shall make his own breakfast.

Anyway, point being, even though your priorities do change, just remember that you shouldn’t change. If you want to do well in your exams, do well – study hard, work hard but keep time for some relaxation too. Let the information sink in. Remember, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” On the same lines, if you get married or get a girlfriend/boyfriend, spend time with them – make them feel special, treat them like they deserve to be treated; but keep time for your family and friends too…your parents, siblings, good friends, etc.

Life is too short to sit and prioritise all the time. Don’t let maturity or age affect your priorities. Sometimes, let go, live life and be spontaneous. Friends come and go, girlfriends come and go, boyfriends come and go, exams come and go, jobs come and go but relationships? Family? Good friends? They’re here to stay forever. If you’re reading this, take out our phone or open Facebook. Message your mom or dad or best friend and just tell them that you love them. Life is too short to wait. Express yourself. 

Life

We all love our parents don't we? And of course, our parents loved their parents didn't they? Then I have one question; why were old age homes invented?

Sure everything revolves around money today. That's a fact. Fact fact fact. Am sure Mr Gradgrind from Charles Dickens' 'Hard Times' would be so proud of me for saying this. No emotions involved...just a mechanical life: Go to work, make money, come home, eat, shit, sleep, wake up the next day and do it all over again.

Has it never occurred to the kids who dump their parents in old age homes that their parents could have dumped them in an orphanage as well? Or left them on the streets? But they didn't! They took care of you; when you lied, they scolded you; when you were down, they encouraged you; when you hurt yourself, they took care of you. How do you have the heart to dump someone who gave birth to you? Who brought you into this world? Who made you who you are today?

Life is too short to live mechanically. It's the small things in life we need to appreciate. It's the people in our lives who make a difference. I learned recently:

"One day, you need to have someone with
whom you can look back at these memories..."
Photograph by: Tanushree Dwivedi

It took time, but I learnt to live.

However be the days, I have learnt to live,

Now I have known this, what's happiness and what's sorrow;

Both are weathers of two moments;

Neither they wait nor stay.

Life gets made of two colours, 

Now angry, now placated.

This, this is here...

- Der lagi lekin maine ab hai jeena seekh liya, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.

Learn to live, yes. Seize the moment, yes. Make memories, yes. But never do these things alone. One day, you need to have someone with whom you can look back at these memories. Family, friends, strangers, lovers...everyone means something at some point in your life. 

I miss

The crazy moments,
The random photo sessions,
The gossip sessions,
The water vapour incidents,
The self pity sessions,
The times we made random funny faces,
The dance sessions,
The baking and cooking sessions,
The junk food and mid night snacks,
The endless music,
The secret road trips,
The hair straightening sleepy times,
The spider incidents,
The Pepsi incident,
The Chingola days,
The pizza nights,
The 2 weeks we went on a Friends spree,
The sleep talks,
The secrets,
The sudden outbursts of off tune singing,
The advice sessions,
The boy talks,
The future planning talks,
And most of all,
I miss you.

Father and Child

This post is dedicated to my Father and all other Fathers in the world.

Every man talks about the heart warming relationship between a mother and her child. However, the relationship between a father and his child is equally heart warming and special.

A father always shares a special bond with his child, be it his son or his daughter. He will always treasure the moments he has spent with his children; be it a small game of baseball with his son or a special talk with his daughter before her first date.

Photographer: Lakshmi Subramaniyam

In any case, it is always the father who helps the child realise his responsibilities. When a child walks into his house with a report card full of red marks, it is the father's duty to analyse this report card. Normal situations like these will involve the father getting into a rage. But at the end of the day, the father sits his child down and explains the importance of education to the kid. During these small talks is when the father and child bond.

I remember my father advising me when I didn't fair well in my exams. He told me that it didn't matter and that at least I passed. He talked to me about his personal experiences of failure. I always look up to him. He has always been supportive of what my sister and I do. He has always talked to us when something went wrong and always chose the right words to say.

It is typical that the child may react in a negative manner. However, as the child matures, he realises the importance of his father's words. I know I always do. It is because of the advice and scoldings that when a child grows up, he gains a sense of responsibility.

Any relationship has stages of progression. But that one of a father and his child is special and lasts forever. I love you Appa.