Sunday, June 23, 2013

Types of People on Facebook

There are a gazillion people on Facebook. But some of them fall under the following categories:

1. News Givers

These are the people that constantly update you with news. Like we’ve no idea what’s happening in the world. Frankly, I get most of my news updates thanks to these people. I don’t even read the newspaper unless I really have to…like for work or something.

2. Attention Seekers

“I’m so sad”…yeah? Well, so am I…thanks to your update. Furthermore, Facebook has this new application that actually encourages such kind of statuses. Like seriously, when did a Facebook status become one’s personal diary?!

3. Photograph Freaks

I’ll admit. I’m one of these. But damn, it’s the only place to share pictures and what not. If we take pictures, it’s because we want them up on Facebook so that we can see how many likes we get and what not. In a way, photographs have lost their essential meaning…making memories. Sigh.

4. "Likers"

Ever posted up anything and had a like immediately from that one person? No? Well then, you don’t have a “liker” on Facebook. These are the people who are the first ones to give you a notification. They like almost everything you post up or your news-feed will be filled with “So and so liked so and so’s post/photo/link” and so on. These are also the people who are constantly on their phone…on Facebook.

5. Couples

Now don’t mind, but I may be a bit biased as I am single. But to all you couples…hi. So. Yes. Firstly, it’s a bit confusing (and excuse me, but irritating) when y’all have the same profile pictures. Like bro, didn’t y’all take more than one picture together? Secondly, it’s hard for me to figure out whether you updated your status or whether your girlfriend did it for you. So please, let me know whether you’re bi-polar, have MPD or just fused with your girlfriend to make that “one-body-two-heads” thing I spoke about a few posts back.

6. #Hashtaggers

Hello there people who want to use hash tags but hate Twitter. Psh. The concept of hash tags was ridiculous when it appeared on Facebook. It was legit on Twitter because…well…that was probably the USP of Twitter. But when Facebook incorporated it, it was just…sad. But it was funny before they incorporated it…because people actually used it without knowing its actual serving purpose.

7. Check in!

The people who check in…I’m actually surprised you’ve not been attacked yet. Seriously, I know exactly where you are and what you’re doing; and that’s a tad bit creepy. But then again, it’s informative. If I wanted to join you, I’d just come by. Or I’ll do the whole “OMG! You’re here too? I had no idea!!” I’ll admit, I was used to checking on before. I still do. Only on Foursquare.

8. Philosophers

Get your life's gyaan and advice from your friends who put up philosophical quotes...inspirational, political, environmental...everything. This isn't irritating really. It's actually sensible. You're spreading knowledge. So peace to y'all.

There are many more categories but these are all I could think of at this time of the morning. If you know of any others, please feel free to post a comment or two on your categories or thoughts! Peace! 

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